The fruits of summers past

ANONAS.

ARATILES.

ATIS.

BALIMBING.

BALUBAD [ KASUY ].

BAYABAS.

BUKO.

CACAO.

CAIMITO.

CALAMANSI.

CALUMPIT / KALUMPIT.

CAMACHILE.

CEREALES.

CHESA.

CHICO.

DALANDAN.

DALANGHITA.

DAYAP.

DUHAT.

DURIAN [ DAVAO ].

GUYABANO.

INDIAN MANGO.

KAMIAS.

LANGKA.

LANZONES.

MABOLO.

MACOPA.

MANGGA.

MANGOSTEEN [ DAVAO ].

MANZANITAS.

MARANG [ DAVAO ].

MELON.

PAKWAN.

PAPAYA.

PINA.

RAMBUTAN [ THAILAND ].

SAGING NA LAKATAN.

SAGING NA LATUNDAN.

SAGING NA SABA.

SAGING NA SENORITA.

SAMPALOC.

SANTOL.

SINEGUELAS.

SUHA.

ZAPOTE.

Comedy relief: “Dive” bars

Once in a while, funny memories inexplicably return with a full whammy, leaving me laughing heartily to the wonder of other people around who think that I’ve gone bonkers [ well, they’re probably right  😛 ].

I remember my Daddy, my Mommy, and her good friend Tita Nena D. gathered around the dining table for “merienda” one afternoon decades ago [ in the 1970s ] and laughing endlessly about something they called “dive!”

“Dive”???!!!  It was only years later that I understood what “dive” was… it was a quaint euphemism for sex.  😛

Daddy, Mommy, and Tita Nena D. were terribly amused, with their sides splitting, because an apparently still randy, short, late seventysomething uncle of Mommy had tried to have a final act of passion, a “final round” of sex with his petite late seventysomething wife, in the process splitting his urethra permanently, causing hospitalization and a permanent relationship with his catheter.  The unimaginable thought of the two shriveled seventysomethings getting it on drove the younger fiftysomethings to endless bouts of laughter.   “Nag-‘dive’ pa kasi!!!”  the three guffawed.

Two decades later in the early 2000s, we were again treated to a “dive” comedy within the family by Mommy’s randy, divorced seventysomething Reyes cousin.  One literally hot April night, he brought two sexxxy streetwalkers from Quezon avenue back to his “bachelor pad” for some “double happiness”…  And indeed, “double happiness” it turned out to be!!!  During the course of the too-hot-to-handle debauched and bawdy sex, he had a stroke from his unmanaged hypertension!!!  The two female hotties apparently left in a huff out of fright, thinking they had killed him [ which they actually did, in the most sensual sense! ], leaving him paralyzed and helpless.  At around 5:00 a.m., he finally succeeded in calling my Mommy, only managing a faint groan.  Frantic Mommy and his gay go-for rushed to his “bachelor pad,” which they found locked securely.  After many tries with a nearby locksmith, they finally succeeded in entering his rooms where they found him in all his naked glory, motionless, in the comically compromising position where the stroke and the two hotties had left him, surrounded by vintage American porn and all manner of antediluvian sex toys.  Frantic Mommy rushed him to the nearby Episcopal hospital, where he was admitted to the ICU.  My conservative and proper Mommy’s “press release” to the family [ even to her “kids,” would you believe??? ] and the relatives was that “he had suffered greatly from the heat during a recent trip to the northern highlands and that had precipitated the stroke.”  “Felt the heat,” you betcha!!!  He actually survived and even partially recovered.  Since his stroke he has been trying to get some long-delayed, badly-needed sex — even just a “hand job,” please! — from his female caregivers these recent years, but to no avail.  “The spirit is willing but the flesh is weak!!!”  Harharhar!!!   😛

“Nag-‘dive’ pa kasi!!!”  we twentysomethings guffawed.

Yes, we should all be careful before we “dive”… specially since we are not getting any younger!!!   ;P   ;P   ;P

The Families of Old Lipa, Batangas

In the Library of the Fabella family-owned JRU Jose Rizal University along Shaw Boulevard in Mandaluyong City are the private papers of former Senator Maria Kalaw-Katigbak.  Among those papers are important old documents and rare antique photographs pertaining to her ancestors, the Solis family of Old Lipa, Batangas.  Former Senator Katigbak was the mother of Marinela Kalaw Katigbak-Fabella, Mrs. Armand Fabella.

AGUILERA.

LUZ.

MAYO.

ROXAS.

SOLIS.

Celestino Solis.

Catalina Solis.

KALAW.

KATIGBAK.

Reminiscences of Old Pampanga

Last Sunday evening, 30 May 2010, we were at Albert Salgado Paloma’s Rory Cameron-Lady Kenmare-“La Fiorentina”-“Le Clos Fiorentina”-overlooking-the-French-Riviera like house [ think white, white, white halls of noble proportions with classical antique Filipino furniture and genuine French antiques effortlessly put together with Albert’s tremendous, inimitable style and chic ] in San Fernando, Pampanga for his annual reception celebrating the town [ now city ] fiesta in honor of “San Fernando, El Rey.”

The big draw of an Albert Salgado Paloma invitation for me is to relive the lunches and dinners of the Old Pampanga I remember from my childhood and youth:  the delicious and luxurious Spanish and French-inflected Capampangan food cooked at home, presented on large antique porcelain, ironstone, and silver platters and laid on beautiful antique hardwood tables;  an assortment of fine wines;  the many tables elegantly set with china, crystal, and silver on linen damask;  and the genial company who knew one another, whose parents knew one another, and whose grandparents and great grandparents knew one another as well.  I’m sure it was a similar draw for many of the other regular guests.

Dinner was a grand concourse comparable to the five star hotel buffets:  Italian gnocchi, tagliatelle, and penne in various sauces, A large Lapu-lapu fish as “Pescado en Mayonesa,”  Dory filets with capers and butter sauce, “Relleno de Pollo,” Roast Turkey with all the trimmings including glazed yams, “Caldereta de Cordero [ lamb ]” braised in French red wine, Angus Beef carvery, Albert’s famous long-simmered “Fabada Asturiana,” Smithfield Virginia ham, young “Lechon,”  fresh asparagus, cauliflower, broccoli, Mixed Greens salad with unusual dressings.  Steamed Japanese rice for those who wanted some.

For desserts, there were fresh fruits and many cakes and pies from Manila’s most fashionable pastry shops.  There was also a delicious “buco” sorbet, tinged with pandan and exquisitely laced with “dayap” lime rind.

Later in the evening, when most of the older guests had left, Albert and I finally got around to talking, and as always, he was a vivid window to a vanished world, to a Pampanga long gone, even if he was already of the PostWar generation…

“Albert, how did one spell Benito Ullmann?  One l, two ls?  One n, two ns?”  I asked.

[ Benito Ullmann was the part-German first husband of Albert’s grandaunt, the very rich businesswoman Teodora Salgado y Basilio.  After his death, she married a full Spaniard, Dr. Saa, who was, of all things, a magician.  She had no children though, thus she partitioned her many holdings between her several Salgado nephews and nieces. ]

“Ullmann… two ls and two ns.”

“Benito Ullmann was in the luxury imports business.  Was he a part-owner of ‘La Estrella del Norte’ or did he have his own firm?”

“I don’t know about his involvement with ‘La Estrella del Norte’ but he had his own firm.”

“I remember your telling me years ago that the famous Arnedo Paris porcelain dinner service was ordered through Benito Ullmann’s firm… Therefore, the Grand Duke [ Alexis Alexandrovich of Russia ] must have ordered it immediately from Benito Ullmann after his visit to the Arnedos in Sulipan in 1891…”

“Yes it was.  It was Tirso Ballesteros and his mother Joaquina Arnedo-Ballesteros who told us.  They were there when we visited the Arnedo house in Sulipan… a long time ago?”  he confirmed.

Albert continued:  “Those plates were displayed in two “vajilleras” glass-fronted cabinets in the “comedor” dining room.  Tirso and his mother Joaquina told us that the majority were actually in a storage room.  They were beautiful!  Where are they now?”

“With me.  Most of them anyway.  Some are displayed at the ‘Museo de La Salle’ in Dasmarinas, Cavite.”

“Good.”

“I didn’t know Tito Ocampo was from Mexico town.  I thought the Ocampos were from San Fernando…”

“Tito’s father was an Ocampo from Santa Rita.  His mother was a Paras from Mexico.  That’s why he has that property there.”

“Interesting to note how old Dr. Sandico [ Mayorico Hizon Sandico ] and Imang Jane [ Jane Lazatin Garcia ] married off all their children to equally old Capampangan families.  I remember Dr. Sandico very well, he was a perfect gentleman… to the hilt.  He was also quite emphatic about people of good family:  ‘galing sa mabuting pamilya,’ he used to say.”

“Yes, they’re of very good family.  Their Hizon ancestors were painted by Simon Flores.  You’ve seen them?”

“Yes, Saturnino Hizon y David and his third wife Cornelia Sison.  It turned out that Saturnino Hizon was actually the direct, maternal grandfather of Dr. Sandico.  His mother Pilar Sison Hizon-Sandico was a daughter of Saturnino and Cornelia.  I remember the Saturnino portrait very well because he was buck-teethed.  They were already given to the children.  Then they were restored by Helmuth Zotter, the Austrian.  Very expensive!”

“There used to be a big Simon Flores painting right across from this house when I was young.  A family portrait with several people.  Lindy Locsin [ Architect Leandro V. Locsin ] bought it.”

“Which family was it?”

“Quia-son.”

“Oh, if Lindy bought it then it’s the one with the mother-in-law.  There were three Quiason family portraits — the three were brothers — that hung in San Fernando before the war.  Another one, with just four figures [ Cirilo and Ceferina Quiason and their family ], is in the Central Bank Collection.  Another one is really dark, in the Central Bank too if I’m not mistaken. I’m a Quiason by descent, through my mother, by the way.  The baby in the Central Bank portrait, the one whose pee-pee was burned off by his own cigar, was my mother’s maternal grandfather { Jose “Yayang” Quiason y Henson }.”  I related.

Albert countered:  “Lindy also bought three portraits by Simon Flores from the Cunanan ancestral house in Mexico town.  The very old, probably 1780s, thatch-roofed house that used to stand on the site of the Methodist church now, right beside the old town church.  The parents of Mariano Cunanan and another one.”

“By the time I saw the house in the 1950s, the Cunanans had already become Methodists.  I guess that’s why the Methodist church now stands on the site of their ancestral home.”

“The Quiason are descended from the Cunanan:  Cirilo Quiason y Cunanan.  His mother was Maria Cunanan and his father was Modesto Quiason.”  [ FYI:  Our Cunanan is NOT related to Andrew Philip Cunanan, the assassin of Gianni Versace in Miami.   😛 ]

He added:  “Lindy had the big Quiason portrait and the three solo Cunanan portraits restored by no less than the principal restorers of the Metropolitan Museum of Art in New York.”

“Do you think Lindy would have bothered to record the names of those three Cunanan portraits by Simon Flores?”  I asked.

“Knowing Lindy, yes, he would have.”

Albert recalled further:  “That Cunanan house had the most beautiful segmented “cabecera” dining table I ever saw:  Neoclassical, with tapering Sheraton legs, and discreet bone and kamagong inlay.  Their sideboards in the “comedor” dining room were a pair of longer and bigger than usual Sheraton-type altar tables, tapering legs, restrained bone and kamagong inlay, and all.  Beautiful!!!”

“My only ‘recuerdo’ of that Cunanan house is the smallish grooved marble top table from the ‘sala.’  Without knowing its provenance, I bought it, along with many other first rate antiques, for a small fortune in 1997 from Rene Dizon who had acquired it, together with the late ‘agente’ Mamerto “Mamer” Ocampo, from the family in 1972 in exchange for a new color TV.  Rene didn’t even know it was the Cunanan house, all he remembered was that it was the old, long, thatch-roofed house beside the Mexico church.  Then I learned that the old, thatch-roofed house used for ‘Filosofo Tasio’ in director Gerry de Leon’s classic 1961 ‘Noli Me Tangere’ was  the Cunanan house in Mexico, Pampanga.  Years later, you told me that the Cunanan house had beautiful old things and it was right beside the Mexico church where the Methodist church stands now.  So you see, after all those years, all the bits and pieces of information finally jived.  I guess that buying that grooved marble top table from Rene was sheer serendipity, as always.”

“Good.”

“I wouldn’t be surprised if the Cunanan family had those silver “paliteras” toothpick trees…”

“Sonny Tinio remembers being told long ago by Hizon [ de Mexico ] descendants that the old house had twelve of them and that they were distributed to the children…”

“Very believable.”

“Te Hizon still had two of them before his beautiful San Fernando house was damaged by lahar.”

“Yes.”

*unfinished*

Comedy Relief: Overeating

My younger brother, sister-in-law, and I had dinner last night at the popular “Tao Yuan” Cantonese restaurant in Ermita, Manila [ it’s like the Cantonese clubhouse of Manila, where many of that community meet;  they were introduced to it by their friends Atty. Antonio “Tonico” Pedrosa Manahan and his wife Angela “Yanni” Laperal Heras ].  We ordered a lot and ate a lot.  Since my sister-in-law didn’t care for Peking Duck, and my brother, father of three kiddies that he was, was careful with his diet, I ended up eating most of it… not that I minded.

All that overeating reminded me of a particularly abusive lunch I had in Hong Kong with my sister some years back…

We ordered…

“Shark’s Fin Soup.”

“Suckling Pig.”

“Steamed Shrimps.”

“Scallops.”

“Braised Sea Whelk.”

“Deep-Fried Crab.”

“Lobster.”

“Peking Duck.”

“Yang Chow Fried Rice.”

The head waiter shook his head and frantically crossed his arms:  “No, no, no… This is too much for the two of you…  too much!!!”

“No, no, no, we’re hungry.  We’re ordering all of that!!!”  I assured him.

The food came and it covered the entire round table.  I was actually embarrassed because there was all that food and there were only two of us on opposite ends of the table.  We looked like greedy people, very greedy people indeed.  The other tables had four dishes at most.

So my sister and I ate very well.  Actually, I ate most of it.   😛

When we got to the pavement, my legs suddenly froze and there were sharp stabbing pains where my legs connected to my torso [ uric acid?  cholesterol? ].  I had to stagger to the nearest lamppost for support, where I leaned immobile, and in considerable pain, for a little more than ten minutes while my sister browsed the nearby window displays from where she stood…

Hahahah… but that didn’t stop me from crossing Nathan Road to “Haagen-Dazs” for five scoops of ice cream!!!

After that, my sister and I resumed our shopping… until it was time for dinner…

*****************************************************************

So if you hear that I landed in the Emergency Room of Saint Luke’s Hospital, you’ll know exactly what I was up to.   🙂   🙂   🙂

Authentic Filipino “Halo-halo”

Summer in the Philippines is marked by the appearance of ubiquitous “Halo-halo” stands.  From major thoroughfares to the narrowest alleys, “sari-sari” stores to house frontages, you will find them:  several bottles of stewed fruits, canned evaporated milk [ or horrors, one of these made-in-China synthetic milk substitutes capable of inducing kidney damage ], white sugar, plastic cups and spoons, all on a campy plastic tablecloth, and a styrofoam box with a block of ice and an ice shaver.  It’s the archetypal summer small business of Juan de la Cruz.

“Halo-halo” is exactly what it’s called:   a mix.  When I was a child in the early 1970s, and long before it was made chic [ and then bastardized ], the 10 centavo [ yes, 10 centavos! ] “Halo-halo” at the nearby “sari-sari” store of Aling Maring’s was a mix of stewed fruits like “saba” [ plantain bananas ], “langka” [ jackfruit ], “nata de coco” [ fermented coconut jelly ], sweetened “mongo” beans, “ube” purple yam paste, red “gulaman” jelly [ bought dried like loofah from the public market; not American “Jell-O” ], red “sago” [ tapioca ], and “pinipig” rice crispies and was topped by a scoop of shaved ice, to which one added “ebap” evaporated milk [ read:  e-v-a-p-o-r-a-t-e-d, not “President” or “Elle & Vire”  😛 ] and white sugar to taste.

A few summers ago, I was stalking an antique “kamagong” aparador somewhere in Tayuman district in Tondo when the car broke down.  It had conveniently stopped in front of a “Halo-halo” stand in front of a pleasant-looking little house manned by a young mother and her well-scrubbed children.  Looking at the ingredients in closed bottles — “saba,” “mongo,” “ube,” “gulaman,” the styrofoam icebox, and the ice shaver, I decided to give it a try and ordered two for my driver and I.  It was good and had that elusive, nostalgic, pedestrian taste I remembered from childhood.  Cost:  Php 20 each.

While the A-crowd can have their chichi “Halo-halo” at the top hotels, and the regular Joes can have theirs in the various “Halo-halo” outlets at the malls, I’ve always felt, and strongly, that authentic Filipino “Halo-halo” is the one found on the streets, in the “sari-sari” stores, and house fronts.  It has to have that nostalgic “cheap” taste.  After all, “Halo-halo” is a descendant of the PreWar Japanese vendors’ “Mongo con hielo” found in populous Quiapo, Santa Cruz, and Avenida.  It was so common that no upper-class matron of that time would have served “Halo-halo” at her elegant “asaltos,” “bienvenidas,” and “despedidas.”   It was really “PPP” proletarian, plebeian, and pedestrian… during PreWar, at least.

In the 1950s, the generation of my parents used to go to “Little Quiapo” for “Halo-halo” after watching movies along the Escolta or Avenida…

Nowadays, the chichi go to the Manila Peninsula hotel lobby for the “Halo-halo” of upper-class Manila [ seems like any other “Halo-halo” to me;  I’ve always wondered if they should up the ante and make the ice out of “Evian” and throw in fruit preserves and “marrons glaces” from “Fauchon” for good measure  😛 ].  The regular Joes head for the various “Halo-halo” chains in the malls and elsewhere like “Digman” of Bacoor, “Icebergs,” “Razon’s” of Guagua, and “Kabigting’s” of Arayat [ Ayala Marquee mall, Angeles ], etc..

Ideally, as with everything else, the best “Halo-halo” should be made at home, bursting with all the yummy ingredients…   🙂   🙂   🙂

So, what’s your favorite “Halo-halo”???

***************************************************************************

Funny story about “Halo-halo”:

My Valdes cousin Susie Tinio Arroyo was telling me of the time she went with a mostly female tour group to Taal, Batangas.  The Coaster bus was full.  As expected, they visited the sanctuary of the miraculous Our Lady of Caysasay.  When they were leaving the shrine, their tour guide pointed to a nearby roadside stall and said that the best “Halo-halo” was to be found there.  The 90 year-old Taalena proprietress was known to prepare and stew all the yummy ingredients herself.  Mouths watering, the entire group of 35 foodies immediately flocked to the roadside stall and ordered a “Halo-halo” each.  It turned out that the 90 year-old woman was the only one preparing the “Halo-halo”:  she huffed and puffed and hyperventilated as she hurriedly shaved the ice and frantically prepared “Halo-halo” for the 35 surprise customers from Manila.  Yes, the “Halo-halo” was goooood!!!  Cousin Susie pitied the 90 year-old woman who panted to the 35th glass of “Halo-halo”…

And just as the 90 year-old woman handed the 35th Halo-halo glass to the last of the tourists, another Valdes cousin, Bunny Katigbak Fabella, stood up and requested:  “May I have more ice, please?”   🙂

*LOLSZ!!!*  Cousin Susie could hardly contain her laughter!!!

Electric shock

During dear Tito Armand Fabella’s wake [ + 27 November 2008;  our Valdes de Pampanga patriarch ] on 28 November 2008 at the gym of the Fabellas’ JRU Jose Rizal University, I found myself seated with Cousin Butch Valdes, the late Tito Charlie’s [ CJV’s ] son.  I knew Butch and regarded him highly because he and my uncle Brother Andrew Gonzalez F.S.C. [ youngest brother of my father ] worked together at the “DepEd” Department of Education during the controversial Estrada presidency and they shared some downright difficult times as well.  But that’s another story worth telling on its own.

Butch told me that within two years there would be a power shortage of +- 2,000 megawatts…   We would again be suffering from those inconvenient blackouts and brownouts during the end of the Aquino presidency and the beginning of the Ramos.

He said that one solution — and indeed it would be imperative — would be the operation of the BNPP Bataan Nuclear Power Plant.  It could supply much of the power deficit.

The Philippines had one of the highest electric power rates in Asia because we still didn’t have the benefit of nuclear power.  I knew that well because my Korean sister-in-law kept on complaining how much cheaper, almost negligible, electricity was back in Seoul and Busan.

I hoped against hope that Cousin Butch’s prediction would not come true…  I remembered how business in general really slowed down during the big power shortage of 1992-93.

But, lo and behold, here it is staring at us in the face!!!

Be that as it may, President Gloria Macapagal-Arroyo should not be christened “The Queen of Darkness Part II”…

Widest Reach

We had a big laugh yesterday at lunch when a rich distant cousin of mine related that her sisters and their families, along with other La Vista residents, had gone to the beautiful Batanes islands way up north last week for R & R…

A group of lively children had approached and offered to sing to them, for a few pesos of course.  Thinking that the kiddies would sing a charming Ivatan ditty, they agreed.

The children sang:

“Si Villar ang tunay na mahirap,

Si Villar ang tunay na may malasakit,

Si Villar ang may kakayanan na gumawa ng sariling pangalan…”

“NALOKAH SILA!!!”  my cousin laughed.

They were horrified.  That Villar campaign jingle in faraway Batanes!!!

After all, many of them were diehard Noynoy Aquino.

Except for Erap’s sister M*rita Ejercito, who was also with them.

Harharhar…   😛   😛   😛

***********************************************************************

Another group of cousins were in Puerto Princesa in Palawan last week.  As tourists, they were taken around the various natural splendors of the place…

A group of children approached them with sticks and stones as makeshift musical instruments to accompany their singing…

The children sang:

“Si Villar ang tunay na mahirap,

Si Villar ang tunay na may malasakit,

Si Villar ang may kakayanan na gumawa ng sariling pangalan…”

“NALOKAH KAMI!!!”  screeched my cousin.

They were horrified.  That Villar campaign jingle in faraway Palawan!!!

After all, they were diehard G1BO Teodoro.

Harharhar…   😛   😛   😛

A matter of principle

“We should go back to those days…”

“Sadly, it’s all about the money these days.”  I declared flatly, cynical as always.

“But we really have to go back to those days…”

He nodded in agreement.

“Well, that’s the way it goes:  it’s just all about the money.”  I shrugged.

“But it shouldn’t be that way, it shouldn’t be about the money…”

“They will have to pay for every vote… it’s really all about the money now.”  I sighed.

“Well… but we really should go back to those days…”

“I don’t know if that’s possible…”

It was only when I left the building that I realized I was like her in that way:  Idealistic.

*******************************************************************

No matter what happens, I will still vote for “G1BO” Gilbert Cojuangco Teodoro!!!

In consonance with MY candidate, I have nothing against the other presidential candidates.  I am sure that they too have the capabilities to serve as the next President of the Republic of the Philippines.  But I have to say that G1BO has MORE CAPABILITIES to serve as President than the others.

It’s just a matter of principle.   🙂   🙂   🙂

Juan de la Cruz says…

We all know that it is the majority of the Filipino people — the 99 % — who will choose the next President of the Republic, so I have kept my eyes, nose, and ears, specially the ears, open to know what the pulse of the contemporary Filipino is…

Some answers made me proud, some made me cringe…

THE MAID:  “Ako para kay G1BO, kasi ang tali-talino niya sumagot sa mga tanong sa TV.  Tapos, ang cute pa niya.  At ang asawa niya na si Nikki, ang ganda-ganda, tisay na tisay!”

THE FAMILY DRIVER:  “Iboboto ko si Villar.  Matutulungan niya kaming mahihirap.  Gusto ko sana si G1BO, kaso ka-alyado ni Gloria, ayaw ko na.”

THE SALESGIRL:  “Ako solid Noynoy.  Syempre Aquino iyan.  Anak ni Ninoy at ni Cory yan, alangan namang magloko.  Bait yan.”

THE WAITER:  “Si G1BO.  Kasi narating na niya yung pinapangarap ko sa buhay.”

THE TAXI DRIVER:  “Gordon ako.  Galing niya kasi, tandaan natin ang ginawa niya sa Subic.  G1BO sana ako, kaya lang dala ni GMA, ayaw ko na ng kahit sinong konektado sa kanya, sobra raw ang kurakot!”

THE JEEPNEY DRIVER:  “Erap!  Sino pa ba?  Isa siya sa amin!  Malaking pagkakamali yung pinalitan siya ni Gloria.  Dapat maipagpatuloy niya ang mga programa niya para sa aming mga mahihirap!”

THE CARINDERIA COOK:  “Kami solid Erap!  Siya dapat ang maging Pangulo kasi napakabait niya!  Mahal namin si Erap!  Si Erap para sa Mahirap!”

THE TRICYCLE DRIVER:  “Ako Villar.  Mahirap kasi siya na umunlad.  Baka magawa niya sa amin yon.  Ayaw na namin kay Erap, napagbigyan na iyan, palpak naman.  Halos wala na kaming makain no’ng panahon niya.”

THE TRUCK DRIVER:  “G1BO!  G1BO!  Iba na yung matalino at magaling, kitang-kita niyo naman yung ebidensiya.  Wag naman tayong maghalal ng magnanakaw at mangmang, mangmang na nga tayong lahat pagnanakawan pa tayo…”

THE MANICURIST:  “Noynoy kami.  Iba na yung matino, kahit hindi masyadong astig.  Yung mabait.  Yung hindi magnanakaw at hindi mang-aabuso.  Si Noynoy!”

THE CIGARETTE VENDOR:  “Villar.  Sabi kasi ni Mang Dolphy.”

THE GARBAGE MAN:  “Sino pa kundi si Erap?  Siya lang ang nakaka-intindi sa amin!”

And that, ladies and gentlemen, is what Juan de la Cruz is saying.  Take your cue from here.

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