Comedy Relief: “Santo,” 1993
December 12, 2009 at 5:03 am (Comedy Relief, Design and Decoration, Domestic Travels, Family Traditions, Humor, Personal, Random memories, The Global Crowd, The Ilocanos, The Manilenos, The Pampanguenos)
Comedy Relief: “for your Man,” 1993
December 12, 2009 at 4:59 am (Comedy Relief, Domestic Travels, Humor, Personal, Random memories, The Global Crowd, The Ilocanos, The Manilenos, The Pampanguenos)
Comedy Relief: “Squalid & Squalor,” 1993
December 12, 2009 at 4:54 am (Comedy Relief, Domestic Travels, Humor, Personal, Random memories, The Global Crowd, The Ilocanos, The Manilenos)
“You have to see this house… It has interesting handpaintings on the walls.” Jo Panlilio declared as we stood — exactly like the “Peanuts” characters Charlie Brown, Schroeder, Linus, Lucy, and Sally — outside another old and crumbling Vigan ancestral house.
“Jo naman! Ano kaya makikita natin diyan? Eeehhh…” I complained, my nose twitching in irritation. Worse, the house smelled, even from the outside.
“Might as well go. You never know what we will see…” suggested Erick Agbayani.
“Baka may mga ’santo’ sa loob…” Tom Joven thought aloud.
“Yes, for research…” Sandy Castro agreed.
And so we entered…
It was… “something else.” For starters, there was a perpetual 12-inch flood inside the “zaguan” ground floor, so we made our way to the “escalera principal” grand staircase by walking over inverted soft drink cases weighed down with stones. The fear of “dengue” or “H-fever” hemorrhagic fever, or worse, “malaria,” was enough to send shivers up our spines, that was, except for Jo Panlilio, whose unquenchable passion for antiques made him brave the most awkward and the most difficult of situations.
The “piano nobile” second floor was, for lack of a better word, squalid.
With the sheer elegance of Eleanor Parker as the “Baroness Schrader” in “The Sound of Music,” Jo Panlilio politely introduced the group to the befuddled chatelaine of the residence, la Madame. A gaggle of young, clueless people from Manila who want to see an Old Vigan house, fine. After the required protocols, la Madame proceeded to show us around her very interesting habitation.
Oddly enough, the rooms had signs designating this and that; over once-elegant double doors of costly hardwoods hung signs like “Amaryllis Room,” “Violet Room, “Tulip Room,” etc.. When, upon our insistence and curiosity, la Madame ventured to show us one of the rooms, she casually flung open the “Amaryllis Room,” and it was a sight for our “innocent” eyes… The naked tenant of the room was a well-built twentysomething man who was thoroughly enjoying his Saturday morning, abusing himself, with a pile of local pornographic magazines. The moment he realized he had a willing audience and his private thrill lost, he hurriedly excused himself. 
Whoa, if that wasn’t a mise-en-scene, then I didn’t know what was…
Jo Panlilio and Erick Agbayani forthwith “christened” her as “Madame Squalid & Squalor”…
The very next day, we attended the 8:00 a.m. Sunday Holy Mass at the Vigan Cathedral [ Saint Paul the Apostle Church ]. We were all seated and waiting impatiently for the Mass in Ilocano to start, of which we surely wouldn’t understand anything, with our eyes darting from up to down and left to right taking in the elegant interiors and details of the antique structure.
When lo and behold, Madame Squalid & Squalor appeared, impeccably groomed this time, wearing an immaculate white dress, and accompanied by two white-uniformed maids, one ceremoniously carrying a small lace pillow for the kneeler and the other ceremoniously carrying a vase with a fresh flower. Her elegant appearance and dignified demeanor was rather like the Croesus-rich Regina Beaufort making her entrance at the annual Opera Ball in New York in the Edith Wharton-based and Martin Scorsese directed movie “The Age of Innocence.” Hahahah…
“Ay, si Squalid & Squalor!!!” shrieked Erick Agbayani, gesturing towards la Madame.
“Ay, siya nga.” agreed Sandy Castro.
“Bakit siya mukhang tao ngayon?”
“Ikaw naman. Naligo naman ah, obvious ba?”
With the great dignity of a born royal, Madame Squalid & Squalor proceeded up the main aisle to take her accustomed seat in the front pew. She “beso-beso” exchanged air kisses with her patrician peers.
APPEARANCES. They’re Everything!!!
Harharhar!!!
Comedy Relief: “Cote d’Ivoire,” 1993
December 12, 2009 at 3:00 am (Comedy Relief, Domestic Travels, Family Traditions, Humor, Personal, Random memories, The Global Crowd, The Ilocanos, The Manilenos, The Pampanguenos)
Every time we are in dear old Vigan, antique lovers that we are, we always have to visit the wonderful antique-laden homes of dear friends, a few of which have home altars graced by unspeakably lovely antique ivory images.
During that particular trip in 1993, we were with Tom Joven [ who years later would emerge as the top ecclesiastical restorer in the Philippines, the singular choice of top Catholic Church officials and uberrich collectors and connoisseurs for the restorations of their various antique "santos" ], so his Santos-Joven cousin Jo Panlilio made sure that we would visit churches, chapels, and homes with beautiful antique “santos” so that Tom, whose passion in life were/are “santos,” would find the long trip up North worthwhile.
So we visited the home of dear friends, affluent Vigan patricians who had fortunately maintained possession of their many family heirlooms. As always, they received us joyously and graciously. We were led up to their private, actually secret, home altar upstairs, which was different from their home altar in their ground floor. The private home altar was a veritable “Cote d’Ivoire,” literally an Ivory Coast graced by generations of gorgeous antique ivory “santos” in “virinas” glass domes. The sight always made Jo Panlilio and I drool, and that time, Tom Joven too…
On top of the low built-in cabinets was an exquisite antique ivory “Calvario” in a big “virina” glass dome. There was the Crucified Christ in the center on a cross of kamagong wood with 18 karat gold appliquees of 18th century rococo work, the Sorrowful Mother on the left, Saint John the Evangelist on the right, and Saint Mary Magdalene kneeling at the foot of the Cross. The bored-looking Crucified Christ wore a magnificently worked “tamburin”-style 18 karat gold loincloth and his 18 karat gold nails were studded with rosecut diamonds. The three figures were arrayed with accoutrements of beautifully worked 18 karat gold and were resplendent in robes of silver gilt thread embroidered “tisu de oro.” The gold content was so high that the accoutrements had not faded with some 200 years. And there were many of those sought-after cutey-cutey blown glass Roman soldiers and citizens on the base set with glinting beetle carapaces [ according to the ubercollector Don Felipe Hidalgo, they were made by the inmates of the "Bilibid Viejo" prison ].
Perched on top of a secured wall bracket was an antique ivory image of the “Santo Rosario,” Our Lady of the Rosary. The small crowns of the Virgin and the Child Jesus, the “rostrillo” around her face, the “aureola” over her head, scepter, baton, rosary were all of exquisitely worked 18 karat gold. Her 18 karat gold earrings had small rosecut diamonds. The gold content was so high that the accoutrements had not faded with some 200 years. Her elegant vestments were of silver gilt thread embroidered “tisu de oro” and blue velvet.
Arrayed on top of the high built-in cabinets on the opposite side of the low cabinets were more antique ivory images: “La Anunciacion de la Virgen Maria,” [ The Annunciation of the Angel Gabriel to the Virgin Mary ], “San Antonio de Padua y Nino Jesus,” “San Roque de Montpelier” with his bread-carrying doggie, and a singularly memorable kneeling “San Ignacio de Loyola,” with articulated veins on his forehead.
“But where is the ‘Virgen,’ Nana?” Jo and I asked, referring to the antique, nearly lifesize ivory processional image of the Virgin Mary with the Child Jesus.
“The ‘Virgen’? She’s here… ‘Apo Baket,’ your friends want to say hello to you…” the dear lady opened a cabinet in the corner of the little room, actually a passageway.
OUT tumbled some “walis tambo” [ grass brooms ], cans of red “Johnson’s” floor wax, “kacha” muslin rags, feather dusters, fly swatters, old newspapers, magazines, kettles, hot water bottles, “palangganas” plastic basins, rubber slippers, pink plastic curlers, and other impedimenta… finally revealing the magnificent, antique, nearly lifesize ivory Virgen in her white satin “house dress”… As always, Wooooow… We could feel our tongues reaching the floor…
“Ay, ay, ay!!!” shrieked the dear lady, as she tried to catch some of the stuff spilling from the cabinet.
“My… the ‘Virgen’ likes to keep house, doesn’t she, Nana?” mused the witty Jo Panlilio, in trademark Duchess of Windsor style.
Harharhar!!! 
Comedy Relief: “de buena demencia,” 1990s
December 11, 2009 at 5:26 pm (1800s Filipinas, 1900s Philippines, Angst, Comedy Relief, Domestic Travels, Family Traditions, Humor, Personal, Random memories, The Cebuanos, The Davaoenos, The Global Crowd, The Ilocanos, The Ilonggos, The Laguna Tagalogs, The Manilenos, The Negrenses, The Pampanguenos, The Past, The Tarlaquenos, The Tayabenses / Quezonians, Tristesse)
The several crazy trips Jo Panlilio and I & Co. took in the 1990s to distant Vigan, Ilocos Sur, have left us with a fantastic store of both historic and hilarious memories. They were made with all sorts of influential characters, from the staid to the saucy, from the sublime to the silly…
If I remember right, that particular time, Jo Panlilio and I were in Vigan as an advance party for an important group of the Katutubong Filipino Foundation headed by Patis Tesoro on behalf of the First Lady Amelita “Ming” Ramos. I don’t remember exactly why, but that memorably warm morning we were joined by writer Glenna Aquino, A Muse of Manila intellectuals and wits, and by Martin “Sonny” Imperial Tinio Jr., Filipiniana scholar nonpareil and grand seigneur, in the van going to, as usual, another old and crumbling Vigan ancestral house…
Dear ol’ Sonny had to start with his usual investigation of one’s aristocratic lineage, or otherwise the lack of it. As he was already familiar with Jo Panlilio’s and my Old Pampanga roots, he inquired with Glenna Aquino about hers…
“Hindi ba ang inyong mga Aquino taga…?” he asked Glenna.
“La Union.” Glenna replied curtly.
“Ay, maraming kuwento tungkol sa mga Aquino…” started Sonny.
“Talaga. Sari-sari…” Glenna said, obviously disinterested in the topic at hand.
And the desultory exchange quickly accelerated to rapid repartee…
“Ay nakuuu, alam mo naman ang mga “de buena familia,” may mga TILILING…” recounted Sonny Tinio dryly.
“Hindi lang tililing, KALEMBANG…” rejoined Jo Panlilio, adding fuel to the fire.
“Hindi lang kalembang… KALABOG!!!” Glenna Aquino snapped.
Harharhar!!!
A million thanks to you
December 10, 2009 at 12:10 pm (1800s Filipinas, 1900s Philippines, 19th century Filipino Art, 2000s Philippines, 2006, 2007, 2008, Angst, Architecture, Arnedo de Sulipan, Blogroll, Brother Andrew F.S.C. of De La Salle, Comedy Relief, Current Events, Design and Decoration, Domestic Travels, Escaler de Sulipan, Family Traditions, Filipino Art, Foreign Travels, Gonzalez de Sulipan, Humor, Manila Houses, Pampanga Art, Pampanga Cuisine, Pampanga Traditions, Past Events, Personal, Quiason de San Fernando, Random memories, Religious Traditions, Reyes de Arayat, Rodriguez de Bacolor, The Cebuanos, The Davaoenos, The Global Crowd, The Ilocanos, The Ilonggos, The Laguna Tagalogs, The Manilenos, The Negrenses, The Pampanguenos, The Past, The Tarlaquenos, The Tayabenses / Quezonians, Tristesse)
Dear Friends,
As that Pilita Corrales ditty from the 1970s went: “A million thanks to you…” A million thanks to you indeed, for today “Remembrance of Things Awry” — www.remembranceofthingsawry.wordpress.com — reached the 1,000,000 hits mark since starting in August 2006 [ 1,000,402 hits --- not counting me --- as of 8:00 p.m. ]. I know it’s “peanuts” compared to the great Filipino blogs which already have millions of hits. But then, we all know this blog isn’t for everyone, right?
A Million Thanks to All of You!!! And of course, a million thanks to wordpress.com, the blog host.
Now, are you ready for the “Toto Gonzalez Show” on the Net??? Hahahah.
Cheers!!!
Toto Gonzalez
Comedy Relief: Poet Laureate, 1991
December 7, 2009 at 5:13 am (1900s Philippines, Arnedo de Sulipan, Comedy Relief, Domestic Travels, Family Traditions, Gonzalez de Sulipan, Humor, Pampanga Traditions, Personal, Random memories, Religious Traditions, The Manilenos, The Pampanguenos, The Past)
It was the usual Sunday family lunch at Brother Andrew’s [ Lola Charing's ], and we all usually recounted what had happened the last week…
I reported: “I was in Apalit [ Pampanga ] a few days ago because I had to do something. While there, I visited the cemetery and prayed for our dead.”
“That’s good. How’s everything there?” Brother Andrew inquired.
“Everything’s alright. Poor Lolo *******, they’ve installed his ‘lapida’ [ tombstone ]. It says ‘Poet Laureate of Pampanga’.”
“But he was really a Poet. Nothing wrong with that.” countered Brother Andrew.
“You should see how it’s spelled, Brother…”
“How?” asked Brother Andrew, a wicked, expectant smile on his face.
“Poet L-A-U-R-I-A-T of Pampanga, Brother. Chinese LAURIAT not L-A-U-R-E-A-T-E!!!”
“LAURIAT???!!! POET LAURIAT???!!! Ahahahahahah!!!” Brother Andrew asked in disbelief, his eyes wide open. His food went up to his nose and he was convulsed laughing.
[ As National Museum Director Corazon "Cora" Alvina very wittily quipped at that time: "THAT'S A PAIN IN THE POET!!!" ]
Harharhar!!!
Comedy Relief: “La Scala” restaurant, 1990s
December 7, 2009 at 4:58 am (Comedy Relief, Humor, Personal, Random memories, The Global Crowd, The Ilonggos, The Manilenos)
Businessman and bon vivant Tony Rufino often invited his family, relatives, and friends to dine at the chic-of-the-week “La Scala” restaurant along Jupiter Street in Bel-Air. It was a novel restaurant where the waiters and waitresses sang opera arias while serving the guests.
That night at Tony’s table, there were his cousins Cita Abad-Dinglasan, Babylin Abad-Panlilio, Jo Panlilio, me, Tony’s wife Mita Bantug-Rufino, as well as Tony’s mother Julieta “Julie” Abad-Rufino, former Vice-President Fernando “Nanding” Lopez, and former First Lady Trinidad “Trining” de Leon-Roxas.
It was all very nice with the waiters and the waitresses singing arias from Verdi, Puccini, et. al.. And seated at the various tables were the “Everybody who was Anybody” in Manila. All very nice… until the Three Seniors with us got hungry waiting for their food…
“Waiter! Ano ba? Nasaan ang pagkain? Hindi namin puwedeng kainin ang kinakanta niyo! Kanina pa gutom ang mga kasama ko!” inquired Julie Rufino testily.
“Gutom na kamiiiii…!!!” complained Don Nanding Lopez.
“Hoy! Kanta na kayo ng kanta, nasaan ang pagkain??? Kanina pa kami nagugutom! Magsilbi muna kayo bago magkanta!” demanded Dona Trining Roxas.
After that, the Three Seniors wanted to go back to their homes and sleep PRONTO.
UNFORGETTABLE.
Harharhar!!!
Comedy Relief: Erte Ball at the Villa Escudero I, August 1993
December 5, 2009 at 6:39 pm (Comedy Relief, Domestic Travels, Humor, Personal, Random memories, The Global Crowd, The Laguna Tagalogs, The Manilenos, The Tayabenses / Quezonians)
The cocktails of the Erte Ball were held at the 1930s “Big House” of the Villa Escudero, the ball itself was held inside the adjacent original Museum Building.
During the cocktails, Jo Panlilio greeted an old lady senator. She inquired: “Have you seen my daughter, hijo? I’ve been looking for her the whole evening.”
“No, I haven’t, Ma’am. If I do see her I’ll tell her you want to see her.”
“Thank you, hijo. I thought I saw her earlier but she probably didn’t see me. She has this new bob hairdo and is wearing a one-shoulder black dress. Please tell her I’m looking for her, hijo.”
“I certainly will, Ma’am.”
Jo Panlilio had certainly seen someone with a bob hairdo and wearing a one-shoulder black top a few minutes before: Louie Cruz!!! Jo Panlilio bit his lip at the realization and moved through the gregarious crowd…
Poor Old Lady Senator. She had mistaken Louie Cruz for her daughter.
Harharhar!!!
Comedy Relief: Erte Ball at the Villa Escudero III, August 1993
December 5, 2009 at 6:26 pm (Comedy Relief, Family Traditions, Humor, Personal, Random memories, The Global Crowd, The Laguna Tagalogs, The Manilenos, The Tayabenses / Quezonians)
As the over-the-top costumed guests of the Erte Ball were introduced one by one to the assemblage, it turned out that, apart from a few socialites, it was practically a chorus line of talented and audacious gay guys…
The Final Bow was taken by an aged American socialite who was dressed ala Greta Garbo or Marlene Dietrich in a pale green Paul Poiret-like dress…
When she appeared, a top investment banker pointed her out to his buddies and commented: “Wow!!! That’s some old fag up there!!!”
Harharhar!!!
