Asunder

We all think “telenovela” plots are way out, whether they are Filipino, Korean,  Mexican, whathaveyou…

But indeed, Truth is stranger than Fiction.

The following story is happening to friends of mine.  Although affluent, they are not “in society.”  But what is happening has jarred me enough to want to share it with you…

Jake and Faith have been married for 15 years and seem like the perfect couple:  both goodlooking, intelligent, hardworking, prosperous, and visibly in love.  Jake is a vice-president in a multinational corporation and has several businesses of his own.  Faith is a born entrepreneur, a hardworking businesswoman who imports exclusive boutique beauty products and other luxury items from Europe and from the USA.  They have no children.  After several tests, it was determined by the doctors that it was Faith who had the fertility problem.

Jake and Faith were unfazed, and since they had the resources, went to every single fertility doctor they could find.  After exhausting their list in Manila, they proceeded to Hong Kong, Taiwan, Singapore, Bangkok, San Francisco, and New York.  None of the doctors could get Faith pregnant.

Unknown to Faith, Jake had become despondent and was losing faith in himself.  He desperately wanted to have children, not just one, but several.  For Jake, adoption of someone else’s child was totally out of the question.

About a year ago, on a business trip down south, Jake found himself visiting Bernie, his former flame.  Bernie is from a rich political clan, the daughter of an influential, longtime politico.  Jake had bowed out of her life years ago when he was a nobody careerwise and could not afford Bernie’s affluent style of life.  Unknown to Faith in Manila, Jake’s visits down south to Bernie became more frequent.  Before Jake and Bernie could realize what was happening, Bernie became pregnant.  Not wanting a scandal to blow up, her parents sent her to the USA to give birth there.  

Bernie gave birth to a bouncing baby boy.  Jake was delirious with happiness.  Bernie’s parents were not happy about her illicit relationship with Jake, not only because she was a mistress, but they felt that he was not rich enough, influential enough, and important enough for them, although they were very happy about their new grandson, a new heir to their political dynasty!  Bernie’s father sat Jake down and pointedly told him that the baby boy would carry their surname instead of Jake’s for as long as Jake could not marry Bernie and make an honorable woman out of her.  He stated in the strongest terms that Jake should leave his wife Faith and marry their daughter Bernie.

Bernie, for her part, also told Jake in the strongest terms that he should marry her, that he should have his marriage to Faith annulled ASAP since they could not have children anyway.

All that time, Jake carried on with his loving wife Faith back in Manila as if nothing was happening…

Three months after the birth of his son with Bernie, and ready to be expelled from their marriage and their home, Jake finally mustered the courage to tell the truth to Faith, expecting the worst.

But Faith, kind and understanding woman that she is, did not go into a rage.  Calmly, she told Jake that she was very hurt, but that she completely understood his situation.  How could he live without children of his own knowing full well that he was a healthy man capable of producing them?  Faith assured Jake that she was ready to live their life with his son from Bernie.  However, Jake did not tell Faith that Bernie and her family are pressuring him to leave her and marry Bernie instead.

Where do they go from there???!!!

I know Jake and Faith well.  Faith is a wonderful woman whose only fault is that she cannot have a child.  I can only conjecture what prompted Jake to return to Bernie and…

If this isn’t an unraveling “telenovela,” I don’t know what is…

14 Comments

  1. Albert Dejarlo said,

    April 4, 2013 at 5:35 am

    To have money is, everything you can buy,why not in vitro fertilization,hire a surrogate mother for your unborns,it is a common practice in India,all can be done with money,Or jake is just plainly stupid.

  2. Mike Jordana said,

    March 6, 2013 at 1:55 pm

    I’m not sure I go along with this notion of “karmic consequences,” Anna Karenina notwithstanding. To the extent one experiences karma, I think it is brought about by one’s sense of guilt. You expect to be punished for your perceived “sins,” and thus you are, because you subconsciously arrange things so that it happens that way.

    Karma is not fate, outside your control. It is not punishment or retribution, except as you bring it on yourself through your sense of guilt.

    See yourself as ‘spotless’ and justified in everything you do (as well you should, since at all times you are presumably only doing the best you can with what you have — and what you know — at that point in time), and karma will have no hold on you.

    But… but… how can you feel justified in hurting someone, e.g., your wife, you say?? Well, in this case, it was not Jake’s deliberate intention to hurt Faith, was it? He had no malice aforethought. He was just being true to his own wants, desires, and preferences. To deny his deepest self out of pity for Faith or in order to not appear selfish would be the true sin.

    When someone comes to me and tells me that somehow “You hurt my feelings,” I usually just answer, “Oh, I’m sorry you feel that way.” But I take no responsibility for their feelings. They choose to feel that way, so let them. They could always frame it in a way that would make them feel better, if they so decided. If they don’t want to, well, it’s a shame. But I’m not going to feel guilty about it. I’m just being myself.

  3. Larry Leviste said,

    March 3, 2013 at 11:36 am

    FUNNY but I watched the NTH version of Anna Karenina with Kiera Knightley and Jude Law ……. a threesome, betrayal, lust in the dust, tears, souvenirs and DEATH. Never forget the karmic consequences.
    My sainted LOLA said. ” Lahat pagbabayaran ! ” Or as the DODGE in Shakespeare’s Romeo and Juliet said at the end, ” ALL ARE PUNI-SHED ! ” Through the centuries, we, they, us, all everyone MUST pay the PIPER.

  4. February 23, 2013 at 9:57 am

    manuel:

    You’re very smart!!!

    Cheers!!!

    Toto Gonzalez

  5. Anthony Locsin said,

    February 20, 2013 at 2:54 am

    Jake should not leave Faith, since Bernie’s family seems to be too materialistic (Jake is not rich, influential, and important enough for them) and they worry too much about what other people might say (sent her to USA to give birth). In the long run Jake would not be happy with Bernie. Jake made a mistake, he should open up and make all effort for Faith to be happy. Leave Bernie.

  6. manuel buencamino said,

    February 18, 2013 at 1:34 pm

    Jake should convert to Islam that way he can stay with his wife and marry the mother of his son.

  7. Nona Pimentel said,

    February 18, 2013 at 4:25 am

    This is their life story, and each one has a unique individuality. Therefore, their wants, their goals and their feelings intertwined or entangled and the consequences thereof, essentially determine the course of their lives. This, despite their legal, moral and social responsibilities. Man or government created laws to have peace and order and to protect the lives and rights of everyone. There are certainly some legal, moral and social issues ruffled here. I guess, the best way since they could not just leave it hanging over their heads forever is to decide which way or option to go. After all the legal and moral issues have been met and agreed on, then, no way to go but to move on. The social issues, like the ‘secret talks of people behind one’s back’ will always be there and the best option is to ignore them. The whole world will not stop or collapse because of a transgression. Everything can be solved and resolved. My final opinion is follow your heart or your head and brace oneself to the consequences.

  8. Mike Jordana said,

    February 18, 2013 at 12:31 am

    Ah, “trite” is too strong a word. You’re being too hard on yourself. But then again, “Asunder” was brilliant! From the wedding vows, right? “What therefore God hath joined together, let not man put asunder.”

  9. Dawn Lopez-Ona said,

    February 17, 2013 at 7:29 pm

    Toto,

    I am so glad to see you posting again. When you do not, I miss you.

    With regard to the story, I am sure there is a lot more to it than that. An adult doesn’t accidentally bump into an old flame and fall into bed with them [unless its in a telenovela. And even in the telenovela you know there are all these other plot lines happening].

    Hugs,
    Dawn

  10. February 17, 2013 at 4:55 pm

    Mike:

    Apologies. “Love & Betrayal” was my working title for this blog post but I soon found it trite, so I retitled it as “Asunder.”

    Thank you for the interesting comment. More, please!!!

    Best regards.

    Toto Gonzalez

  11. allan joseph said,

    February 17, 2013 at 11:10 am

    Such is life. man or woman, sometimes, they are the masters of their own destiny, but other times, they are victims of their own fate. Faith is a every mans dream of a wife, but minus her child bearing capacity, it only shows that we cannot have everything in this world. If jake really loves faith, it is not a reason to go back to an old fling, to the extent of having a baby with her. maybe it was just an excuse, with or without the baby, he was destined to go back to an old flame. maybe there is something in her, that he could not get her off his mind. but if she really loves faith to the point of marrying her, there are other ways of having a child and ensuring that it is of your own flesh and blood. with faith’s one in a million kind of understanding and love, and if i was her husband or in jake’s shoes, i could just have brought out the topic with faith and ask her help in maybe to the point of securing a surrogate mother. i would even ask faith to be the one to choose and screen the would be mother, and and by the way, using the latest technology in impregnating a woman thru aftificial insemination, but having jake sperm as the donor to be able to achieved a lifelong dream of becomming a father. faith might not be able to be a part of the pregnancy or in the baby’s birth itself, but making her understand and being involved from the screening, taking care of the pregnancy thru her supervision,up to the time of birth, will somehow probably, make her a better mother once the baby is brought back home to be their own child with jake. There are countless other ways i could think of but, what amazed me is, they have not even thought about ideas like this, which i believed there is even a movie about such kind of arrangements. maybe the sad story of not having a child, i believed is one of the best strategies i can use especially if i wanted to have some sort of a fling or affair with an ex. having her pregnant means that it did not only happened once but, over and over again making it a revival of an old love affair that was abruptly broken, for whatever reasons, they have at that time, maybe it was just an excuse of what other would term as male chauvanism, no offense meant. To bernie, maybe not being married after so long after the break up means, just like jake, he has something that could not make bernie forget jake, even taking the risk of being pregnant and not minding what would her own family would say. But no matter what i say, others might say, still we do not have the right to do judgement, based on our own experiences and line of thinking. May all of them, be able to find contentment, to whatever decisions in life they might take, and whatever kind of happiness they are seeking..

    Thank You for posting this comment. i am just a fan of this page and always enjoy all the stories i read especially about families from binan.

  12. Mike Jordana said,

    February 17, 2013 at 9:11 am

    Toto, I’m not sure what happened, but the title of the email you sent (below) was Love & Betrayal, while the title of your actual piece was Asunder. I couldn’t follow the link from your email, and I’m sure I’m not the only one having that problem. I only found your actual piece by thinking about the problem for a moment, concluding that the article must be new, and therefore clicking February 2013 on the left of your web page. And voil! there it was! -Mike Jordana.

  13. Mike Jordana said,

    February 17, 2013 at 9:01 am

    1. Jake should tell Faith the WHOLE truth and see what happens.
    2. Independent of the child, does Jake love Faith, or does he love Bernie? He should let his heart guide him.

    If Jake stays with Faith, will he get visitation with his kid? Will Faith allow him to impregnate Bernie again? And again? I remember reading Jake wants several kids.

    Personally, Faith seems worth her weight in gold, while Bernie is just a spoiled brat who happens to have one over Faith in the fecundity department. I’d keep Faith and negotiate visitation rights for the kid, with Bernie’s family. Maybe even “buy” the kid from Bernie’s family — those people seem the mercenary type, the kind that would likely give up the baby for financial gain.

    For the longer term, whether Jake gets to keep his kid with Bernie permanently of intermittently, I’d work with Faith to find a surrogate mother whom Jake could perhaps impregnate, with the agreement that she would give up the baby after it was born (for a nice chunk of change, of course). If her doctors think Faith’s up to it, perhaps they could transfer the fertilized embryo from the surrogate mother to Faith’s uterus and have it gestate there, so it’s like her own child rather than the surrogate’s.

    As for Bernie… it’d be a step backward to choose her. You know what they say — Forward ever, backward never.

  14. Alicia Perez said,

    February 17, 2013 at 7:32 am

    Toto,

    Your friend Faith is a stupid woman. What love, what understanding? It’s out-and-out betrayal by her husband Jake! She should leave him immediately. If she will look for another husband, he should not be looking for children with her.

    Jake, what can I say. No self-control, no discipline. You’re an a**hole.

    Bernie, you have deliberately stolen a husband from his lawful, moral wife. You will have your karma someday.

    Alicia Perez


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