Wedding wackiness: a royal review

Yesterday, 29 April 2011, Friday, it seemed All of Manila was determined to be in front of their TVs, PCs, and laptops at precisely 6 o’ clock in the evening to watch the much – awaited and much – ballyhooed “royal wedding” of Prince William of the UK to Kate Middleton, Baroness of Bucklebury…

It really was so funny:  royal wedding fever 2011 afflicted contemporary Manilans who absolutely had no connection at all to royalty, much less British royalty.  The nearest we ever got to having our own self-proclaimed Napoleon & Josephine were Apo Lakay & Inday Waray, and like their French predecessors in 1813, they too were deposed, in 1986.  And like their French predecessors in 1815, they’re plotting a big comeback in 2016.

At an important high society funeral mass yesterday, the “mourners” were busy exchanging notes on when, where, and how they would watch the royal wedding later in the evening.  Most were watching at home with family and sometimes with friends, some were going to the 5-star hotels, still others were going to the tonier malls.

“My Gawd… the British are such suckers for this sort of thing… !!!”

“Yes, and so are some 2 billion people around the world…  and that includes me and you!!!”

“Camilla the ‘Rottweiler’ looks more than ever like a nanny.  It should be Princess Diana in her place!!!”

“My… Prince Philip at 90 looks ready for embalming…”

“Mrs. Middleton should have worn a sash that said “WINNER!!!” in big bold letters, hahahah…”

“Look at Mrs. Middleton:  she’s just about to break into a great big smile!!!  I’ll bet she’s singing to herself:  “If my friends could see me, if my friends could see me, if my friends could see me… NOW!!!”

“Well, you could certainly say that Mrs. Middleton won the biggest lottery of them all!!!”

“Harry’s hair isn’t even combed… it looks awful!!!  I’ll bet they had a really wild stag party last night!!!”

“My Gawd…  Prince William is the Duke of Bald More!!!”

“You think he’s also balding down there?”

“There’s the Sultan of Brunei, Hassanal Bolkiah…  But that’s not his first wife… probably the 2nd, 3rd, 4th, whatever.  She looks OK.  His first wife looks like our ‘lavandera’…”

“Ah, the Princess of Thailand…  You could switch her with Ai – Ai de las Alas and no one would ever know the difference.”

“Is that Nelson Mandela in the background?”

“No, just some cheap black suburban nobody.”

“The music is beautiful but oh-so-boring…”

“Oh… there’s a ‘blackamoor’ in the choir…”

“Princess Anne still looks like a horse after all these years…  She now looks like an old racehorse.”

“Look how Harry’s hitting on Pippa!!!  ‘Hey Pippa, Wills kissed Kate, maybe I can kiss you… ???’ ”

“Quit knocking it, Harry!”

“Randy Andy’s 2 daughters look every inch as fat and unattractive as their mom Fergie…”

As Flora, the good fairy, sighed during the finale of Walt Disney’s “Sleeping Beauty”:  “Oh, I just love happy endings!!!”  [ Well, “happy endings” has an altogether different meaning these days, but let’s not get into that… ]

All I can say is that everyone likes a fairy tale…  !!!

Even I.   🙂   🙂   🙂



  1. Julio Ledesma Arenas said,

    May 4, 2011 at 7:07 am

    I remember now MY mom was exactly the same. She told Ramoning Valera exactly what she wanted- I want it like Elizabeth Taylors’ when she married Nicky Hilton, he was taken by her perspicacity and so it was. The killer was her Belgian Lace veil it took a woman sitting in a darkroom at the same spot the better part of a year to make those thats craft we should endeavor to do Here. They were Married at De La Salle’s Chapel at Taft. That place used to give us the beejeebies especially at the 3rd floor. Happy Endings do occur karma IS true in that too. See what these threads do evoke, ellicit, entice- I love it.

  2. Julio Ledesma Arenas said,

    May 4, 2011 at 6:52 am

    Agreed Larry, restraint given the pomp and circumstance was more Her way of saying ITS MY PARTY AND ILL BE DAMNED WHATEVER I WANT TO- still I wont. The dress drew attention to HER. Even the dip and the sleeves all led to her tiara’d again Cartier appropo restrained She’ll get to wear the Star of Africa soon enough or maybe already has played with it at the Tower. My wifes gown was similar they said plainjane and off the rack. Bespoke to her fit albeit from the catalog So What? It was really well constructed and BESPOKE & with torso’d manniquin in case. Rhett Eala who did Sams Headpiece himself admitted the quality of the construct. Its what SHE WANTED and I told her whatever you want. Guess what they cant make the same piece here- for what I paid Peso at 51 BESPOKE. And Her fitter AS ALWAYS WAS KEY AND KNEW WHEREOF who we were. The Bridal store was at our hotel of choice in NY. Two trips the first for the bodice re-measurement after we sent the initial set from manila. It was so non-fuss. Three weeks later back in NY picked it up in travelling case I got my stuff at my place that was that. Look at her PEP fotofile SHE was IT not the dress.
    I always get asked Dont you find it weird her stature and all. Absolutely NOT. I even Insist we go Out one of our Eves IN HAUTE. Manila Haute still. Who do you think they stare at When we enter Lutece or yes Le Cirque her? Initially yes asin OK who is She? Who the hell’s she with? Pong Kang Mah jhong. Stilletos by all means_ my God in Bologna at the Baglioni we hushed the room. That was worth getting all decked out even if we stayed at the same place. Their fine dining was all it was hyped out to be and more. Why? Agostino the Concierge whom I befriended immediately made sure it was just so. Up to and Including the Flower arrangements. Hindi po lahat ng Pilipinong dumadayo dun Alipin.

    This is likewise a current conundrum. When we have our flat designed I dont want to get into complications with ‘sensitivities’ here and the most diplomatic- solution would be- go Get an AD100 designer meet and audition, decide& start the fun of shopping. But then THAT WOULD BE unPatriotic so- I will endeavor to get one of ours and like I told Toto once they know THAT I KNOW what & how I want- as in my ‘minds eye; from the gitgo its clear Cuidarle porque, yo se lo que se.
    Im blessed in that I really dont care whatever IS the yada-yada.

    And YES Pinoys love it lap it up because WE ARE SO DISPOSED. And yes There are Happy Endings ojala.

  3. Myles Garcia said,

    May 3, 2011 at 6:02 am

    Maybe Larry will chime in with his spin, but I don’t know why all the fashionistas were gushing & turning cartwheels over Kate’s wedding gown. I mean it was simple and OK…but actually kinda BORING!! Understated, elegant–smuhnderstated, shmelegant. Blah.

    If the women guests were able to upstage the couple with their outlandish, otherworldly hats, why shouldn’t Kate have worn a TRULY STUNNING gown of originality…something that Lady Gaga would’ve been proud to wear? Otherwise, it was a totally boring frock.

  4. larry leviste said,

    May 3, 2011 at 4:02 am

    Then the next day it was BEATIFICATION madness, then all out WAR DANCING at the murder of Osama with Obama pitching his best for a second term and he will get it. ON BTW, a BIG war starts this July, with lots of terrorist attacks at a city near you. You have been warmed ! LOL

  5. larry leviste said,

    May 3, 2011 at 3:57 am

    Catherine is that you ! I have missed you ! How are you ! Bussi !

    Although most Manila designers browbeat the Sarah Burton for Alexander McQueen wedding going, going at length to say it looked like Grace Kelly’s, it was too safe, too simple, yadi-yadi-yah sure.

    I will venture that in it’s simplicity and restraint, this gown could end once and for all, the 3 decade rule of PORNO couture led by Panis Hilton and the Kardashians. In it’s regal refinement, yes it could have been worn 50 years ago and YES it could be worn 50 years from now.

    It could re-boot this century to a RETURN to beautiful, admirable and a little less fleshy flashy couture. The Duchess of Cambridge and sooner or later Queen of Fashion could really start the RESURGENCE nay the RESURRECTION of TASTEFUL dressing. OUT with the garish, IN with the STYLISH. Kill the stylist.

    Everybody was waiting to compare it with Diana’s SO the right choice was to go the opposite of froth and excess. With the gown in the V&A soon, the weding gown will hold up to scrutiny and the most cruet silent observer, TIME.

  6. Myles Garcia said,

    May 2, 2011 at 5:51 pm

    Here’s the best memento yet of the whole Will-Kate souffle nuptials…


    And then of course, only to be eclipsed in 48 hours by more real NEWS.

  7. Enrique Bustos said,

    May 2, 2011 at 7:19 am

    Here is a story about what Carlos P. Romulo thinks About the Royalties

    In one of the Parties during the Marcos administration Mrs Marcos Invited some European Royalties as her Guest here in the Philippines at a dinner Then Foreign Minister Carlos P.Romulo was seated next to one of European Royalty who has smoking it bothered then Minister Carlos P.Romulo he then asked him to refrain from smoking the European Royalty guest said haughtily don’t you know you who I am I am the Prince so and so to which Minister Carlos P.Romulo replied Princes and Royalties went out with the 19th Century angry but silent he put out his cigarette

  8. Catherine de Guzman said,

    May 2, 2011 at 6:34 am

    The royal wedding provided a respite from the tsunami, nuclear disaster, tornados, Middle east social unrest, rising oil prices, ad nauseam- that have been hugging the headlines lately.

    We all love fairy tales and happy endings, don’t we?

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