If you are not Pampango / Kapampangan / Capampangan, meaning to say that you are a native of Pampanga province in the Philippines, then I suggest that you do not read this because you will NOT get the joke.

During a nationwide election, a mayoralty candidate was gunned down in Tarlac province, adjacent to Pampanga, where there are still many native Kapampangans.

His distraught best friend had to call the deceased’s eldest brother in the United States, in San Francisco, to inform him of the assassination.

Expectedly, Eldest Brother became very emotional.  He cried out:  “HAHN-HAI POR HAHN-HAI!!!  HAH TOOT POR HAH TOOT!!!”

Best friend was befuddled.  It seemed Eldest Brother was crying out “ANAY” [ Termites ] and “ATUT” [ Farts]…

Eldest Brother cried out again, like Moses crying out in the desert:  “HAHN-HAI POR HAHN-HAI!!!  HAH TOOT POR HAH TOOT!!!”

Best Friend, although devastated by his dearest friend’s murder, started laughing to himself, wondering why Eldest Brother kept on crying out “ANAY” [ Termites ] and “ATUT” [ Farts ].  What did Termites and Farts have to do with Younger Brother’s Murder???!!!

Eldest Brother cried out again, this time like Conan the Barbarian:  “HAHN-HAI POR HAHN-HAI!!!  HAH TOOT POR HAH TOOT!!!”  *growls like a lion*

Suddenly, Best Friend realized something…

OOOHHH!!!  AAAHHH!!!  BWAHAHAHAHAH!!!   😛   😛   😛

Eldest Brother had been saying all along:  “AN EYE FOR AN EYE!!!  A TOOTH FOR A TOOTH!!!”  But it was almost incomprehensible because He was saying it in that peculiar Kapampangan way:  of prefixing an “h” where there is no “h” and omitting an “h” when it’s really there; of interchanging “f” and “p”; of interchanging “b” and “v”; etc., etc., etc..

*LOLOLOLSSSZZZZZ!!!!!!!*   😀   😀   😀 




  1. November 1, 2007 at 4:27 pm


    Don’t forget, you’re now married to David who is part-Cafamfangan!!! Yes, I know he’s part Ivatan, part-Cebuano… but he’s still part-Cafamfangan!!! *lolsz!*


    Toto Gonzalez

  2. Janine said,

    October 26, 2007 at 6:21 am


    This reminds me of when david & I went to mass in Angeles, Famfanga, we were in tears, laughing. Osanna in the igest!

  3. abcdefg said,

    October 12, 2007 at 11:26 pm

    I think I noticed that the Capampangans don’t have the H on a word with an H rather than putting an H to non H words. This is what I noticed with my Capampangan friends when they speak in Tagalog. Or has the newer generation evolved? Just my observation.

  4. cousin paz said,

    October 10, 2007 at 4:11 am

    All I can say is bwahahahahahahahaha……

  5. arwin lingat said,

    October 9, 2007 at 6:05 am

    wahahahaha, i really enjoy reading and also the rest of your articles, especially those with historical accounts and personal anecdotes of the olds and you also. continue writing. i hope someday i can read about your la naval bacolor experiences and family gatherings that are religious in context.

  6. connie said,

    October 6, 2007 at 4:52 pm

    At first read … I was saddened by this post and then I watch… “Fiddler on the Roof”… now I get the humor behind… “An eye for an eye and a tooth for a tooth”… upon hearing the aforementioned statement… followed by a comment that goes along the line… “if we keep doing this… we will all be blind and toothless”… and the journey continues…

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )


Connecting to %s

%d bloggers like this: