Valentine’s Day has become a big deal here in the Philippines. And it always brings back memories of dates gone awry…
A newly-moneyed, young, provincial couple went to dinner at an upscale restaurant famous for its Caesar’s salad.
The gentleman asked the waiter: “Ano nga ba yung nasa trolley? Yung ginagawa rito sa tabi ng mesa?” [ “What is that dish that’s on a trolley? The one that’s prepared beside the table?” ]
“Ah, Caesar’s salad po!” [ “That’s Caesar’s salad, Sir!” ] replied the waiter confidently.
“O, bigyan mo ako no’n!” [ “Then give me that!” ] ordered the gentleman.
And so the waiter pushed the cart to the couple’s table to prepare the Caesar’s salad…
The gentleman told his lady: “Honey, panoorin mo yan! Ang galing niyan!” [ “Honey, you have to watch this! It’s great!” ]
And to the waiter’s amusement, the couple observed the salad making process with great concentration, as if they were unraveling a great mystery…
It was a very new experience for the couple. The gentleman reiterated: “Honey, ang galing galing nilang gumawa niyan. Specialty nila yan…” [ “Honey, they are really the experts on this dish. This is their specialty…” ]
And the clincher came: “A-apoy iyan!!!” [ “It’s going to go on fire!!!” ] He declared!!! *lolsz!*
What???!!! He mistook the Caesar’s salad for a flambe??? *lolsz!*
Another newly-moneyed, provincial couple went to dinner at another upmarket restaurant, this time known for its “fondue”…
“Ser, specialty namin ho ‘fondue.'” [ “Sir, our specialty is ‘fondue.'” ] suggested the waiter.
The gentleman, not knowing what “fondue” was, but not wanting to appear overly provincial, nodded and promptly ordered the dish. “OK, bigyan mo ako niyan.” [ “OK, give me that.” ]
The waiter brought the covered “fondue” pot with its blue alcohol flame, the picks, the beef cubes, etc.. The gentleman and his lady looked hesitatingly at each other. They were clueless about “fondue.”
The gentleman lifted the cover of the “fondue” pot and criticized: “Ang lapot naman ng sabaw na ito!!!” [ “This soup is too thick!!!” ] He took a spoon and stirred it in a disinterested way.
“Anong gagawin natin?” Paano nating kakainin ito???” [ “What are we going to do? How do we eat this??? asked His clueless lady gingerly.
“Eh, di ihawin natin ang mga ito!!!” [ “Oh, let’s just grill these!!!” declared the gentleman ]. And he proceeded to “grill” the meat over the blue alcohol flame!!!