The Established, Old, and Still Rich call them “Desconocidos.”  They have waxed spectacularly rich in a short period of time and overnight have appropriated all the visible trappings of wealth.  Their numbers are increasing, proving that Not Everyone is Poor in Third [ or Fourth, or Fifth? ] World Philippines…

An industrious couple — no longer considered “desconocidos” for years now — effortlessly entered the ranks of society with their discreet but formidable arms and ammunitions business.  The wife became the favorite client of the most important Manila jewelers because of her penchant for large, truly large, diamonds of high quality. 

Not really a “desconocido” but with an immense, relatively rapidly accumulated fortune during the 1990s [ but having its seed in the 1970s and consistent growth in the 1980s ] is a lawyer businessman who started his professional life as an assistant to the all-powerful Defense Secretary of the 21-year Marcos regime.  His first big breaks in the 1980s were the syndications of big contracts between big local companies.  Then came the influx of Southeast Asian investments into the Philippines, of which he was a major organizer and negotiator.  His personal fortune hit a record high of USD $ 600 million at its height.  Then he lost some USD $ 250 million with Argentinian bonds.  But still…!!!          

There is currently a Mining Boom, brought about by China’s insatiable demand for all kinds of metals.  It has certainly brought a wave of unimagined prosperity to a whole group of hitherto “desconocidos.”  From the mines of Mindanao to Luzon, Filipino “nouveaux riches” with fantastic fortunes from mining have been created.  To underscore their newfound prosperity and power, they have been establishing bases in Manila in the most expensive residential enclaves, paying top dollar for prestigious expanses of land.  Their families are among the best clients of the city’s most expensive foreign boutiques, that is, when they are not abroad vacationing. 

A most interesting “desconocido” is a secondary gambling lord in Central Luzon.  “No read, no write.”  How he managed to rise through the ranks to almost trump his boss, The Ultimate Lord, is anyone’s guess.  He has accumulated a fortune in the Php billions through the usually derided numbers game.  He built an immense Corinthian Gardens-style mansion, complete with helipad, on one hectare of gardens on the outskirts of the provincial capital.  His wife spends her days attended by a retinue of staff, expensively tutored by mentors in the art of living, selecting jewelry from the Manila jewelers that visit the mansion daily, and choosing expensive furniture, Persian rugs, and European decorative accessories from the decorators and interior designers that also call at the mansion daily.  He has managed to parlay his large fortune into legitimate, lucrative businesses like hospitals, hotels, and resorts.  However, he has a philanthropic streak and is particularly supportive of priests, nuns, students, and sick people.   

One very respectable “desconocido” — with a completely legitimate fortune — started out in life as a poor relation to an affluent, landed, “Old Rich” Central Luzon family, hence the patrician family name.  In the ultimate dream rags-to-riches story, he migrated to the USA in the 1970s and worked the usual 9-5 jobs.  He was very focused:  he succeeded in accumulating working capital and in establishing a network of business connections.  In the 1990s, He was the only businessman awarded by the US Government the first gambling concession in that progressive western state.  And the rest is history.  His was a triumphal return to the Philippines and to his Central Luzon hometown.  He built a contemporary mansion, complete with helipad, right smack in the new center of his hometown that dwarfed his originally more affluent relatives’ ancestral house where he grew up.  His name is associated with Philanthropy, Philanthropy, and Philanthropy.  

The most spectacular “desconocido,” bar none, is of course my personal favorite [ as well as a personal acquaintance ], “Eminence Gris.”  In the relatively short span of 10 years [ 1986 - 1996 ] in the USA, he accumulated an unimaginable fortune [ especially to Filipinos! ] in the single USD $ billion range.  The immense fortune was supposed to have been made from a virtual monopoly of computers and other high-tech gadgets sales in several “Banana Republic” Latin American countries from a Miami, Florida base.  That, and other businesses as well.  During the heyday of his power-mongering days during the Estrada administration [ 1998 - 2001 ], he was doubtless the most powerful man in the Philippines.   

I like them.  I certainly would like to be one of them.  All that Shopping Money!!!  Hahahah!!!   :P   :P  

“In all my years here, I have never seen the neighborhood change this way!!!” complained a grand real estate heiress. 

“All these ‘desconocidos’…  Who are all these people???”  asked another grand lady.

“Oh yes, this place is fast becoming ‘Sitio de los Ladrones’!!!”  observed another affluent lady.

Once the city’s premiere enclave… gradually invaded, with alarming frequency, by insurgent new wealth, with many of the origins unknown.  The longtime residents are wary, and many of them have simply sold off — delighted at the high prices the arrivistes are willing to pay — and transferred elsewhere. 

I don’t like receiving or making phone calls because — being obsessive-compulsive and manic-depressive — just remembering the millions of microbes on the phones makes me cringe and faint [ no matter how the staff swabs these with disinfectant morning and evening ]. 

I don’t carry cellphones because I have already lost four, although I have to get two soon — one low-end and one high-end — because my friends and business associates are already freaking out.

To add to my misery, I receive several phone calls from credit card and financing companies trying to sell me a credit card or some financial instrument that will only add more complexity to my already overloaded life.

After a series of such time-wasting calls, I decided to waste even more time and ”turn the tables” on them… 

I pretended to ask for a date from the woman.

I pretended to ask for a date from the man.

I pretended to be lovesick and asked for advice.

But the best time was when I was having one of those spectacularly rotten mornings and one of them called, yet again…

The secretary handed me the phone:  “Mr. Augusto Gonzalez.  From Nina.”

“Mr. Augusto Gonzalez?  This is Nina from blahblahblah Banking Corporation.  I would like to offer…”

*switches to ”bitch mode”*

*switches to screeching voice*

“Hindi si ‘Augusto Gonzalez’ ito.  Ito ang asawa niya.  Ah!!!  Kilala na kita…  ikaw yung pinakabagong kabit niya!!!  Yung galing sa ‘Pegasus’!!!  Ikaw nga, ikaw nga!!!  Hayup kang babae ka, patawag tawag ka pa rito… nanggugulo ka ng pamilya ng may pamilya!!! Teka, magkano ba ang kailangan mo para layuin ang asawa ko, ha???  Kaya naman kitang bayaran ah… mas mayaman ako kaysa sa lecheng asawa kong iyan!!!  Hoy, tandaan mo ito babae, pag nahanap kita, isang bala ka lang!!!”  [ "This is not 'Augusto Gonzalez.'  This is his wife.  Ah!!!  I know who you are... you're his latest mistress!!!  The one from 'Pegasus'!!!  You're the one, you're the one alright!!!  You animal, having the nerve to call here... you're disturbing this family!!!  Wait, how much will it cost for you to leave my husband, huh???  I can pay you off.. I'm richer than that as*hole husband of mine!!!  Hey, remember this, woman, when I find you, you're only worth one bullet!!!" ] 

The woman was so stunned all she could say was “Hindi po!!!  Hindi po!!!  Hindi po!!!” 

*LOLOLOLSSSZZZZZ!!!!!!!*   

Beware of calling for “Mr. Augusto Gonzalez” offering him credit cards, bank loans, or whathaveyou.   You’re in for a spectacular surprise…   :P   :P  

[ Of course this post is "politically / socially incorrect."  But why did I write it???  BECAUSE I CAN.  :P ]

Another classic, comic Capampangan story as told by a dear friend at a dinner party last night…

The 80 year-old Capampangan Grandmother was in an upstairs bathroom and — characteristically enough of old people — she slipped.  She cried out:  “Eh-helf!!!  Eh-helf!!!  Eh-helf!!!”  [ FYI, in Capampangan pronunciation, there is an "h" where there is none, and no "h" where there is, "p" is pronounced as "f" and vice-versa, "v" is pronounced as "b" and vice-versa, and so forth and so on...  :P ] 

Meanwhile, The 55 year-old Capampangan Son, already hard of hearing, was seated at the adjacent upstairs hall, totally absorbed watching the NBA games.

Hours later at nearly midnight, The Son felt the urge to pee so he went inside the adjacent bathroom and found his mother sprawled face down on the floor, seemingly unconscious.  He cried out:  “Mama!!!  Mama!!!  What happened to you???!!!”  as he cradled his mother’s head.  She opened her eyes, grabbed the toilet brush, and repeatedly poked it on her son’s head.  “I’ve been here for hours crying out for help and nobody came to help me so I just went to sleep!!!”  she complained.       

“Well, what were you crying out???”  The Son asked.

I was shouting:  “Eh-helf!!!  Eh-helf!!!  Eh-helf!!!”  The Grandmother replied irascibly.

“Well, why did you have to scream in English???  Why didn’t you just change to the Tagalog / Capampangan ‘Saklolo!!!’ if nobody was responding???  At least it sounds more urgent!!!”  reasoned The Son incredulously.

The Grandmother threw the electric fan at her Son.

Hahahah!!!  Just plain ol’ nostalgia…  

The Story becomes more vivid when one is told that it happened in the early 1980s but in a late 1940s mansion by Architect Juan Nakpil in the Santa Mesa Heights development of the Gregorio Araneta family.  The elegant residence was set in a pretty garden of 5,000 m2; the house was decorated by Rosario “Charing” Luz;  the furniture was by Gonzalo Puyat and Sisenando Baluyut; the brass-and-glass chandeliers were from Spain; the household items were from “Aguinaldo’s,” “Oceanic,” “Rustan’s,” “ShoeMart,” and “Sin Kian Heng” along Echague in Quiapo;  and the residents, the household staff, the food, and the “a-t-t-i-t-u-d-e” were totally Capampangan.  There was always a pile of food for Everyone — local and imported fruits in season, cakes, biscuits, cookies, candies, chocolates, Chinese goodies like “hopia,” “ampao,” “pilipit,” “champoy” / “kiamoy,” ”Haw” flakes, etc. — on the dining table, the sideboard, the breakfast table, and the kitchen table; the refrigerators and freezers were bursting with food.  And because it was already the early 1980s, The Grandmother was a fan of the soap operas “Dallas,” “Dynasty,” and “Falcon Crest” and was an avid reader of “People” and “National Enquirer” magazines; she always felt as glamorous as “Alexis Carrington-Colby-Dexter” [ played by Joan Collins ] in “Dynasty” and she also insisted that her late “muy guapo” husband looked exactly like “Blake Carrington” [ played by John Forsythe ] when, in fact, he looked like ”Pugo” the comedian.  And The Son, although married and with children, was an avid reader of “Playboy,” “Penthouse,” “Hustler,” and “Car & Driver” magazines as well as a drooling fan of “Seka” Triple-XXX pornographic movies for which he bought himself a Sony “Betamax” [ then only for the rich at a princely Php 5,000.00/xx   ].  And The Family’s “Biggest Thing” [ a lingering carryover from the "Martial Law" import-restricted days ] was to go to Angeles and Dau, Mabalacat, Pampanga to buy their “PX” goods!!!

Those funny and not-at-all funny days before Ninoy Aquino’s assassination on 21 August 1983 changed Everything…     

[ OK, for those of you who are "tired" of reading about the "Traditional Elite" and "Old Manila," here is one about a Manila family who is richer-than-rich NOW, TODAY, 2008.  Everything about them is new, new, new, and chic, chic, chic.  If this doesn't "satisfy" you, I don't know what will. ]  

“Dad always knew he would make it.  But it was a long hard climb.”

We sat there in the “lanai” overlooking the vast front garden and the vast back garden of their new, contemporary residence set amidst +- 10,000 m2 in one of the city’s most exclusive enclaves.  As with all Great Wealth, Everything had the air of Consummate Ease.  And Sheer Expense.  Even the plants, the grass, and the stones looked expensive.  A Japanese firm had been summoned to design and execute the fantastic garden.

The dining room had a frankly new ”narra” dining table for 24 persons [ the top was 42 feet long, 5 feet wide, and 6 inches thick ], courtesy of the Dad’s lumber magnate friend in Surigao and the Dad’s general friend who facilitated its DENR-free and hassle-free transport to Manila.  The entire dining suite was Neoclassical in style.  Over the dining table hung three rare Art Deco lamps of Lalique glass, acquired last year in Paris.  On the French Art Deco sideboard was a stylish Art Deco coffee service by Puiforcat, acquired for an unimaginable sum in Paris.  The room was hung with four large 1930s Fernando Amorsolos and four large 1950s Vicente Manansalas [ certified as originals by the authorities ], artistic trophies purchased from the unraveling estates of various Marcos crony friends.

The large “kitchen” actually looked like a living room and  was a serious chef / restaurateur’s dream:  The refrigerators were “SubZero,” the ovens “La Cornue.”  The kitchen cabinetry had been ordered in Germany.  Most of the kitchen’s accessories were Italian, “Alessi.”  One side of the kitchen was a casual living area with a large plasma TV and contemporary Italian furniture.  Two large and important BenCab canvases casually hung in the kitchen’s living area, underscoring the wealth of the owners.   

He took me to what he referred to as the “garage” at the far end of the property.  It looked more like a chic loft at Rockwell instead of a garage.  It was airconditioned and humidity-controlled; the lights were LED.  There was a carpeted lounge, a bar, and men’s and ladies’ washrooms.  Inside were parked some 100 cars, some luxury sedans, several sports cars, some SUVs.  Several valets and mechanics were at work polishing and maintaining the cars.  It was a scene guaranteed to get any man’s testosterone going.

“FIESTA” ADVISORY: ON 28 JUNE 2008, SATURDAY, AT EXACTLY 11:00 A.M., “APUNG IRO” WILL LEAVE HIS SHRINE IN BARANGAY CAPALANGAN IN A JOYOUS PROCESSION TO THE PAMPANGA RIVER — THE “RIO GRANDE DE PAMPANGA” —FOR THE ANNUAL “LIBAD” FLUVIAL FESTIVAL IN HIS HONOR. AT 4:00 P.M., THERE WILL BE A PROCESSION THROUGH THE APALIT TOWN PROPER IN HIS HONOR.

ON 29 JUNE 2008, SUNDAY, THERE WILL BE DAY-LONG CEREMONIES AT THE APALIT CHURCH WHICH WILL CULMINATE IN A LATE AFTERNOON PROCESSION IN HONOR OF “APUNG IRO.”

FIESTAGOERS CAN ALSO GO SHOPPING FOR EVERYTHING AS THE APALIT TOWN PROPER BECOMES ONE BIG “TIANGGE” SELLING EVERYTHING IMAGINABLE — “DIVISORIA SA PAMPANGA”!!!

ON 30 JUNE 2008, MONDAY, “APUNG IRO” WILL RETURN TO HIS SHRINE IN BARANGAY CAPALANGAN. THE JOYOUS AND RAUCOUS PROCESSION — ACCOMPANIED BY WATER DRENCHING — ARRIVES AT THE SHRINE BETWEEN 3:00 TO 5:00 P.M..

BE ADVISED THAT SAINT PETER’S SHRINE IN BARANGAY CAPALANGAN, APALIT, PAMPANGA WILL BE THE CENTER OF ACTIVITIES SPECIFICALLY ON THE MORNING OF 28 JUNE 2008, SATURDAY, AND THE AFTERNOON OF 30 JUNE 2008, MONDAY.

COME AND EXPERIENCE THE BIGGEST “FIESTA” IN ALL OF PAMPANGA!!!

[ TIP: MAKE A GENEROUS TIME ALLOWANCE FOR YOUR ARRIVAL IN APALIT.  TRAFFIC WILL BE VERY HEAVY ALONG MACARTHUR HIGHWAY IN APALIT TOWN AND ENVIRONS { OUTSKIRTS OF CALUMPIT, BULACAN, AND MACABEBE & SAN SIMON, PAMPANGA }.  PARKING WILL BE VERY DIFFICULT ANYWHERE IN THE TOWN.  DO NOT BRING EXPENSIVE AND NEW VEHICLES SO AS NOT TO ATTRACT BAD ELEMENTS.  HAVE YOUR DRIVERS GUARD YOUR VEHICLES.  WASHROOMS CAN BE VERY CHALLENGING; RUNNING WATER IS IN DEMAND AND WATER SYSTEMS INEVITABLY BREAK DOWN.  EVERYONE IS WELCOME: YOU CAN WALK INTO ANY GOOD HOUSE AND YOU WILL BE FED A NICE MEAL IN HONOR OF "APUNG IRO." ]

It has already been twenty-two years since the end of the Marcos regime in February 1986, but all aspects of it still make for interesting conversations…

I sat down to lunch recently with a former, leading “Blue Lady,” and I thoroughly enjoyed the memories she shared with me.

“Oh, those were the days…”

“Basically, we were there to help Mrs. Marcos with her various activities.”

“Meldy [ Imelda Ongsiako-Cojuangco ], Zita [ Zita Fernandez-Feliciano ], and Lulu [ Lourdes Hidalgo-Tinio ] were the ones closest to Mrs. Marcos.  Meldy Cojuangco liked to say:  ‘I’m ”the other Meldy”.’  But the truth was that Meldy Cojuangco was ‘the only Meldy who mattered’ in Manila Society until Mrs. Marcos sallied forth from ‘nowhere.’  The ladies formed a ‘cordon sanitaire’ around Mrs. Marcos which made access to her quite difficult.  You couldn’t get near her just like that.  She was really like a Queen.”

“No, Chito [ Consuelo Madrigal-Collantes ] was not part of that inner circle.  Although Chito, by her sheer wealth, belonged to every high circle there was.  Liding [ Erlinda Miranda-Oledan ], not initially, but later on.”

“Oh yes, Teyet [ Dr. Eleuterio Pascual ] controlled all matters artistic in that circle.  He and Liding were constantly at each other’s throats.  The way he and Marietta are now [ Meldy Cojuangco's close friend, Marietta Santos ].  He and Everyone for that matter!  And of course, he poked fun at everybody else.  Poor ladies, no one was spared!”

“Ronnie Laing was the favorite for flowers and party arrangements.  But poor Ronnie always had to hear the carping of ‘everybody’ even before Mrs. Marcos got to see what he had done for the upcoming party.  Yackity yackity yack…” 

“Ileana Maramag… she was Mrs. Marcos’ secretary.  I just forget the name, but Mrs. Marcos had this secretary of sorts, a former member of the household staff who was very trustworthy.  She was in charge of Mrs. Marcos’ jewelry.”

“When we were abroad and at a gala, say the opera, Mrs. Marcos wanted all of us dressed to the nines.  She would lend us fantastic jewelry and all we had to do was to return it to that trustworthy secretary of hers.  The crowd’s jaws would literally drop at the sight of Mrs. Marcos and her glittering retinue!!!”

“Did you know that Mrs. Marcos was very “hands-on”?  Whenever we would be at any of her houses, she would be busy moving plants, carrying cachepots, transferring vases.  Of course, we would help her.  Some of us anyway, specially Loleng [ Dolores Arguelles-Panlilio ].  Many of the ‘Blue Ladies’ would just sit down, eat, fan endlessly and gossip the day away.  However, Mrs. Marcos never complained.”

“Of course, I was there at the MIFF Manila International Film Festival.  I was assigned to entertain a whole European delegation.  Sooooo goodlooking!  We brought them to the beach and then to the discos at night.” 

“You know, Malacanang was not the first time I saw Mrs. Marcos, but I never told her nor anyone else…”

“I first saw her in the house of her aunt, Pacing / Pacita [ Paz Gueco-Romualdez ], along Speaker Perez Street [ in Santa Mesa Heights near the Santo Domingo Church in Quezon City ].  She was pretty, and simple.  Pacing said that she was Danieling’s [ Speaker of the House Daniel Romualdez ] niece from Leyte.”

“I also saw her through the window of that piano store in Manila where she worked.  Sometimes, she would be posed beside the piano, perhaps to make it sell.  Difficult work, I thought.”

“‘Meldy’ would take the jeepney everyday going to and from work.  Sometimes, the poor girl would have no money and would have to borrow her transportation money from Pacing’s maids.” 

“In those PostWar years, at least before the ’activistas’ and Mayor Villegas came along and spoiled all the fun, we would have practices for the ‘rigodon de honor’ of the ‘Kahirup’ and the ‘Mancomunidad Pampanguena’ at Danieling’s and Pacing’s Speaker Perez Street house.  But ‘Meldy’ just watched behind the doors of the kitchen and those of the staff quarters.    The men, who were all attracted by ‘Meldy’s’ fresh beauty, would ask Pacing for the girl to join us in the practice — saying all she needed was a dress — but Pacing refused.”

“But Pacing, despite what is commonly thought, was not all that bad to ‘Meldy.’  She would request the “Kahirup” and “Mancomunidad Pampanguena” organizers to let ‘Danieling’s niece’ sing at their annual balls, because ‘Meldy’ really did have a beautiful singing voice.  Afterwards, Pacing would call her rich ‘comadres’ to lend ‘Meldy’ an evening gown, preferably by a top couturier like Ramoning Valera.  Of course, Danieling and Pacing had ambitions for ‘Meldy,’ marrying up certainly being one of them.”

“‘Society’ was so small then.  Everyone really did know, or at least knew about, everybody else.  One could hide money but of course not financial difficulty.  It didn’t matter that someone penurious was related to someone rich, because everyone knew the difference!!!  It was cruel in a way.  And that was the case with ‘Meldy.’  Everyone knew that She was the prominent Danieling’s niece, but well… Several rich people were ‘not nice’ to her, to say the least.  I felt for her.  Then of course She became Mrs. Ferdinand Marcos and nothing was ever the same again.  I couldn’t blame her for turning the tables on those who had offended her in the past; She was just giving them a dose of their own medicine.”   

“Years later when ‘Meldy,’ against all odds, finally became the First Lady of the Philippines, Madame Imelda Romualdez-Marcos, she invited Danieling’s and Pacing’s [ adopted ] daughters to come to the Malacanang Palace.  They initially did not know how to comport themselves because they used to order ‘Meldy’ around, well, like household help:  “Meldy, ikuha mo ako ng tubig.”  “Meldy, kunin mo iyong sapatos ko.”  “Meldy, ayusin mo yung mga damit ko.”  “Meldy, sabihin mo sa chofer na aalis na ako.”   They were being entertained by the most powerful lady in the land!”

“And after all these years, hijo, I still think that Imelda Romualdez-Marcos was a good First Lady.  Not only good, make that GREAT!!!  Look at what she achieved during her days of power!!!  Do you remember the Cultural Center of the Philippines, the Philippine International Convention Center, the Folk Arts Theater, the Manila Film Center, the Manila Hotel, the Philippine Plaza Hotel,  the Coconut Palace, the Philippine General Hospital, the Heart Center, the Lung Center, the Kidney Center, and all those other institutions IN THEIR PRIME???  Not to mention the Malacanang Palace, Antique I & II [ the presidential guesthouses ], “Balay ti Amianan” in Paoay, the Santo Nino Shrine in Olot, and the others.  We had so much to show to the world!!!  Now, we only have a cheap scandal after a cheaper scandal after the cheapest scandal…  We Filipinos no longer have a face to show to the world!!!  Embarrassing!!!”     

“I also think that Ferdinand Marcos was the greatest president we ever had.  Tell me honestly, did we have anything better after him???  NO!!!  Not Corazon Cojuangco-Aquino with her mahjong quorums, nor Fidel Ramos and his under-the-table deals, Joseph Estrada and his quarreling mistresses, not even Gloria Macapagal-Arroyo and her thieving husband with his cheap, cheaper, and cheapest “queridas”!!!  Call me a Marcos loyalist, because I am proud to be one!!!”

Oh, O… K…  Whatever you say, Tita…  

One of the best things in Life is to be able to help the less fortunate and yet have fun in the process.  That was what the MRMF Mother Rosa Memorial Foundation of the Assumption College did last Saturday, 26 April 2008 to raise funds for the Assumpta Technical School in San Simon, Pampanga.  Charitable Assumption alumnae and their friends contributed Php 2,500.00/xx each and went on a Discovery Tour of Pampanga…

One could ask:  What can be seen in Pampanga???  Lahar???  What else???  It’s warm and dusty.  There are no white sand beaches like Palawan and Boracay, no five-star resorts like Amanpulo and Discovery Shores Boracay, no diving or snorkeling, no surfing or wakeboarding, no top international shops like Hermes, Bulgari, Louis Vuitton, Salvatore Ferragamo, et. al.., no celebrated chichi restaurants and bars like at Greenbelt IV and V and Serendra, Nada!!!  True!!!  But Pampanga has so much more than mere consumerism.  The province is undeniably rich with history, culture, traditions, quality education, fine and decorative arts, culinary expertise, and so much more.  Pampanga the province has the ever elusive qualities of Wonder, Depth, and Soul.  And it was that Pampanga that the generous Assumption alumnae and their friends sought to discover that day…

The fundraising MRMF Pampanga Tour was planned by Josefina “Nening” Pedrosa-Manahan and Jacqueline “Jackie” Cancio-Vega.  Angeli Ko of KulTours was consulted for logistics.  And I was consulted for the “off-the-beaten-track” itinerary.          

Included in the tour group were “Connie” Carmelo-Pascal, “Angie” Barrera, Mary Garlicki, Asuncion “Nonny” Carlos, Marietta Cuenco-Cuyegkeng, Victorina “Chichi” Litton Laperal, Anna Aguirre-Pamplona, Rosalie “Salie” Henson-Naguiat, ”Ching” Singson Abad Santos, “Gigi” Lacson, “Mabek” Lichaytoo-Kawsek, “CJ” Junterreal, “Gina” Gozum, Dr. Gaudencio “Boy” Vega, ADB executive Victor Yon, et. al..   

Petron gas station, northbound NLEX.

JDN CKS HAU The Juan D. Nepomuceno Center for Kapampangan Studies at the Holy Angel University, Angeles City.

The Assumption alumnae were very impressed with the JDN CKS Juan D. Nepomuceno Center for Kapampangan Studies in particular and with the Holy Angel University in general.

Henson mansion, Angeles City.

Chow Time!!!  Salie Henson-Naguiat had prepared a wonderful spread.

Dr. Jose Valencia, Dolores, San Fernando.

The group eagerly descended on “Nathaniel’s” along the Olongapo-Gapan Road and bought boxes upon boxes of the store’s famous chilled ”Buko Pandan” [ with carabao's milk ] dessert for their “buko pandan fix” and every other goody displayed that seized their fancy.

Archdiocesan Museum, University of the Assumption, San Fernando.  I became very irritated with the rude security guards because they passed us from one gate to the other and would not let us in.  As if the university was the gold-laden Fort Knox in Texas.  I sneered:  “You passed me from ‘Papa Gate’ to ‘Mama Gate’ to ‘Baby Gate’!!!  Whothehell do you think I am, ‘Goldilocks’???!!!”  *LOLSZ!!!*  Later on, I was told that the ladies inside the bus were also wondering aloud about what was going on…

However, we all forgot the travails of the university gates when we beheld the sheer magnificence of the Collection of the Archdiocese of Pampanga.  Absolutely marvelous!!!  The curator and concurrently the parish priest of Santa Rita, Pampanga, Monsignor Gene Reyes, was a kind gentleman who took the trouble of explaining every object in the collection that we found interesting, which was mostly everything!!! 

I was able to request my dear friend, the artist Alberto “Albert” Salgado Paloma — a first cousin of the legendary jeweler Erlinda “Liding” Salgado Miranda-Oledan — to open his beautiful home to us.  It is to me, the Filipino version of the legendary tastemaker Roderick “Rory” Cameron at “Le Clos de Fiorentina” above the French Riviera, without the sea of course.

Albert, in his characteristic high style, had ordered his staff to prepare an elegant Kapampangan “merienda” for us.  And what a chic and stylish “merienda” it was!!!

The ladies enjoyed every minute at Albert Paloma’s.  It was as if they never left their houses in Forbes Park or Dasmarinas Village. 

After Albert Paloma’s, some of the group members and I crossed B. Mendoza Street to get our orders of traditional large ”ensaimadas” from Lola Beatriz Rodriguez, who temporarily lives in a priest friend’s house after the old Rodriguez mansion in Bacolor was inundated by lahar.  The group members were absolutely delighted to meet Lola Beatriz, who was already 98 years old but still healthy and alert.

Bacolor Church.

Archdiocesan Shrine of Our Lady of Lourdes, Cabetican, Bacolor.  We made a quick stop to make our “first visit” prayers and requisite three wishes at this popular Marian shrine where many petitions are said to have been granted.  We were efficiently out of there in ten minutes flat!!!

Betis Church.  It was a beautiful church with many artistic details but we were not able to appreciate it as much as we would have wanted as it was already late afternoon and there were no lights inside.  We requested some people chatting in the convent to turn on some lights but they replied nonsensically that there was no electrical connection or something equally otherworldly.  We were able to enter the sacristy and admire the magnificent 18th century “vestuario” vestry cabinet, “aparador” cabinet, and “dinemonyo” “mesa altar” altar table.  It was a good thing we had already seen all of that before the security guard entered the church and, not knowing who we were or what we were doing for charity, wanted to shoo us away.  So I didn’t feel the least bit guilty when, in our rush to leave, we completely forgot to leave our envelope with a generous donation to the church.  

After Betis Church, we visited the absolutely enchanting David House, which Salie Henson-Naguiat had arranged for us.  Atty. Dante David showed us around his family’s restored and renovated 1904 Filipino house.  Many of us particularly liked the antique-style, carved wooden brackets with peacock designs at the ceiling of the main floor.  

The restored ancestral house had such a lovely garden.  It seemed to be the work of a top landscape artist until Atty. David told us that they did it themselves!!!

The ladies peeked inside a garden pavilion being used as a [ not at all! ] “dirty” kitchen and giggled when they saw that the tablecloth was the very pattern of their beloved “Assumption Plaid” uniform.  Also, the ladies very much appreciated the very clean and contemporary bathrooms of the house.

Antique “agente,” Betis.

And so, as the sun quickly set on the horizon, the group set out for the border town of Apalit…

The funniest, wackiest, and most outrageous part of the tour happened when we reached Apalit town at 7:00 p.m..  Jackie Vega had secured an appointment with a known Apalit decorative arts manufacturer whom she had met at the Manila F.A.M.E. exporters’ show.  The address read “Dona Asuncion Village, San Juan, Apalit” which, despite my being an Apaliteno, I didn’t know, so I got down the bus when we reached the back of the Apalit Church and inquired with my friends there where “Dona Asuncion Village” was.  They laughingly pointed to the town cemetery and said that the big bus would not be able to pass the street going there.  OH.  UHM…

I got back on the bus and announced to an excited group:  “Ladies, we have the thrill of the unexpected!!!  We know where ‘Dona Asuncion Village’ is.  Problem is, it’s located after the town cemetery and the big bus won’t negotiate the street going there.  We will have to walk, if ever we proceed.  What’s your decision???” 

I looked at the ladies.  The ladies looked at one another.  The ladies looked at me.  I looked towards the cemetery!!!  The “thought bubbles” on their faces were:   ”Shopping… Cemetery… Shopping… Cemetery… Shopping…”  And then a unanimous “YES!!!  SHOPPING!!!”  And they all proceeded to disembark from the bus!!!

It was a scene straight out of an adventure movie:  some 35 well-heeled, well-dressed, and well-shod ladies happily chatting away as they trod the rough road [ of some 500 meters ], accompanied by excited Apalit children, on the way to the decorative arts manufacturer in “Dona Asuncion Village” past groups of drunken men, the town cemetery, and young families enjoying the night air.  They were amply rewarded when we reached the manufacturer because there were all sorts of stylish, “au courante,” export-quality decorative accessories that could be purchased “in situ.”      

Apalit Church.  We were lucky to find the Parish Choir in practice so the church lights were all switched on.  The ladies marveled at the San Agustin “wannabe” church with its interesting and folksy trompe l’oeil paintings. 

I showed the group the beautifully-carved [ Carrara marble ] gravestone of my paternal great grandfather Dr. Joaquin Gonzalez [ 1853 - 1900 ]:  a Spanish Augustinian friar’s son; a Paris-trained ophthalmologist who preceded Dr. Jose Rizal; he was the discoverer of “beri-beri” as a disease in the Philippines; and he was one of only two Pampango representatives to the 1898 Malolos Congress [ the other being Jose Rodriguez Ynfante of Floridablanca ].  I explained that Dr. Joaquin Gonzalez was the great grandfather of such diverse characters whom the ladies knew socially:  Elsie Franco-Diaz, Cecilia Gonzalez-Soriano, Fr. Gabby Gonzalez S.J., Annie Gonzalez-Chanco, Romy Rodriguez, Rosemarie Rodriguez-Lopez, Tony de Leon, Marianne de Leon, Bambina de Leon-Herbosa, Jane de Leon-Syjuco, Toni Lopez Gonzalez, Mely Gonzalez-Gan, Atty. Renato Gonzalez, Leony Gonzalez, Jerry Gonzalez, Jean Gonzalez-Salvador, Ina Gonzalez-Dizon, May Gonzalez-Benedicto, Minnie Gonzalez Blanco-Abdallah, Gene Gonzalez, moi, Atty. Adolfo Gonzalez, Rocelle Gonzalez-Lizares, Charo Cancio-Yujuico, Arch. Jackie Cancio-Vega, Dr. Vicki Belo, David de Padua, Tweetums Cruz Gonzalez, Noli Gonzalez, Atty. Ging Madrigal Gonzalez-Montinola, BG Gonzalez, Gig Gonzalez, Dr. Jake Jison, and Liel Montinola Gonzalez. 

Cacnio House, San Juan, Apalit.  I explained to the group that the Cacnio House was the last intact ancestral home in the entire town and the only evidence that Apalit actually possessed a kind of Spanish colonial elegance which has almost entirely disappeared.   My dear Espiritu-Arnedo-Mercado relatives Tita Esther Cacnio-Atienza and her daughter Paz came all the way from their Manila residence to welcome the MRMF Group to their beautiful ancestral home in Apalit.  The MRMF Group marveled at the 1850s house, transferred from Malabon to Apalit in 1905, which has survived so many disasters intact, down to the last teaspoon of their ancestors. 

The Cacnios prepared a wonderful “Pancit Luglug” traditionally soured with “Kamias” fruit which was a nice counterpoint to all the sweets that we had been eating the whole day!!!  There were also those delightful little aniseed “puto” — a type which we used to produce in Barrio Capalangan, Apalit years ago.   All “Gratis” again which we much appreciated because it was like a donation to the MRMF!!!  Leading the group in their appreciation of the Cacnios’ warm hospitality, Tita “Nening” Manahan presented “Majestic” ham as a token of gratitude.     

And so, in the dark of night, we bravely forged on to Old Barrio Sulipan in Apalit…

It was already 9:00 p.m. when we arrived in the legendary, once-elegant, definitely-not-patrician-and-sylvan-anymore Barrio Sulipan, Apalit, Pampanga… 

Arnedo House, Sulipan, Apalit.  It was simply too late to bother the gay caretaker to open the ancient house for us.

Saint Peter’s Shrine, Capalangan, Apalit.  Our delicious, freshly-made Spanish “postres” were locked inside the Hall behind the gates!!!  Aaarrrggghhh!!!

Petron gas station, southbound NLEX.

Some of the ladies were so happy to see Connie Carmelo-Pascal and Mary Garlicki — who were trapped for several hours in that frightful traffic between the San Simon and Pulilan exits of the southbound NLEX [ two big trucks had fallen off the viaduct!!! ] — all OK in the ladies’ room.  At least, they were safe and finally on the way home!!!

Everyone had already boarded the bus and were raring to finally go home — except for Gigi Lacson.  I got down the bus to look for her…  She had come from the shops and was walking towards the bus.  I waved to her and she waved back.  Before we both knew it, a truck passed as she was crossing the pavement, nearly running her over!!!  She mock-blamed me for not warning her about the passing truck, but I just smiled and laughed because my tired, tiny eyes really didn’t see the truck coming in the dark…  

Back to Quezon City and Makati…  We reached Merced Bakeshop along EDSA near Quezon Avenue — where the Quezon City group dropped off — at 10:30 p.m. and we reached The Manila Polo Club — where the Makati group disembarked — at 11:30 p.m.!!!  Whattaday it had been!!!  *LOLSZ!!!*

We had so much fun that we are already planning the next tour!!!  Perhaps Laguna, maybe Bulacan, on to Batangas, Ilocos Sur and Abra, Bacolod and Iloilo, and of course, Pampanga Part II…  

And yes, almost miraculously, but also because of the generosity of sooooo many people, MRMF was able to raise a good amount for the Assumpta Technical School in San Simon, Pampanga…!!! 

My dear friend Ditas Gomez just called me after dinner at 9:00 p.m..  Her aunt, Tita Betty Favis-Gonzalez, had just passed away at the Makati Medical Center this afternoon.

“Tita Betty” [ Beatriz Favis de Gonzalez, daughter of Don Asterio Favis y Flandes of Vigan, Ilocos Sur and Dona Ramona Gonzalez y Morales of Bautista, Pangasinan; Dona Ramona "Monay" was the youngest daughter of Don Francisco "Balbas" Gonzalez y Reinado, the "Gonzalez de Pangasinan" patriarch, and his second wife Dona Juana Morales y Mamaril ] was one of my all-time favorite people.  I first met her in the late 1980s when she was already in her late 70s but she was as cool and as hip as an 18 year old.  Nothing shocked her; nothing fazed her.  We may have been fifty years apart in age but she completely understood everything about me.  She was as contemporary as the latest gizmo.  I absolutely adored her.   

As befitting the patrician heiress of a grand fortune, Tita Betty was a fashionable lady.  She was a friend and a preferred client of the legendary couturier Ramon Valera.  At a time when Ramoning’s evening gowns cost a princely Php 1,000.00/xx, Tita Betty was charged much less because he liked her a lot, counting her among his close circle of friends. 

It was Beatriz Gonzalez Favis-Gonzalez who lent the young Imelda Trinidad Romualdez the gown she wore during the “Miss Manila” Contest in 195_.   Years later in the early 1970s during Martial Law, during a wedding at the Santuario de San Antonio where She was a principal sponsor, someone at the back tapped her shoulder gently.  Tita Betty turned around and it was The All-Powerful First Lady, Madame Imelda Romualdez-Marcos:  “Betty, I hope you remember me…” 

“Of course.”  she answered curtly, smiling.

“Betty, should you ever need something, you know where to find me.”

“Thank you.”  she answered, curtly again, still smiling.

When she related the incident to her family, they asked her what she would do with The All-Powerful First Lady’s invitation.  She answered in her characteristic “cut-the-crap” manner:  “Nothing.  She… owes me.”  Spoken like a genuine lady to the manor born.   

She was a trailblazer for the ladies of her generation.  In the mid-1950s when bored ladies of leisure entered the interior design and decoration business with no formal training, Tita Betty went to New York City and completed the entire ”Interior Design” course at the famous Parsons School of Design.  But because she was so rich, she never practiced her profession, limiting her design and decoration to her own residences. 

When she returned from her studies in New York, she arrived with suitcases full of the latest dresses, shoes, and bags from the best designers.  She was the envy of her social circle.  Years later, her nieces were thrilled to see such great vintage pieces in her closets.   

In 1958, Beatriz Gonzalez Favis married the widower Beda Juan Medina Gonzalez of Candelaria, Zambales.  He was the son of the Spaniard Angel Gonzalez of Asturias, Spain and of the Filipina Francisca Medina.  He was first married to Concepcion “Conchita” Oirola of Manila with whom he had two daughters, Nancy and Maribel. 

Adios, Tita Betty.  Until we meet again.

Years ago, Formidable Mother — by her marriage a doyenne of the Cavite “de buena familia” — in her trademark ”habito de Lourdes” [ a plain white dress, usually of Swiss cotton, with a light blue sash that devotees of Our Lady of Lourdes wear ], visited an elegant lady friend who had just separated from her husband whom she had caught having — what else — a torrid affair.  Abroad, no less.

Until then, Elegant Friend and her Husband had been living The Dream.  They had four wonderful, intelligent children.  They resided in a vast house in Forbes Park.  Their luxurious home was filled with an impressive Filipiniana Collection:  the masterpieces of Old Filipino Masters and classical Filipino antique furniture.  Their garage was crammed with current model Mercedes Benzes and BMWs.  They owned thriving corporations, factories, and lucrative commercial real estate throughout the city.   They traveled luxuriously every year.  They had an absolutely wonderful life.  Until Husband wandered away…  

Formidable Mother spewed smoke from her solid gold tar guard and urged her friend:  “But why don’t you just reconcile???  PITY YOUR *pause*… COLLECTION!!!”

You heard right.  Formidable Mother didn’t advise Elegant Friend to reconcile with Philandering Husband because of the usual Children, the usual Family, the usual Society, the usual Morals and Values,  the usual Church, the usual God, etcetera, etcetera, etcetera.  Formidable Mother — no stranger to an unfaithful husband — advised Elegant Friend to reconcile with Philandering Husband because of their marvelous Art And Antique Collection!!! 

Fortunately for Formidable Mother, Elegant Friend’s Philandering Husband was a gallant man who refused to take his half of the Collection and insisted that it remain with his ex-wife in trust for eventual distribution to their children.

Values really differ from one person to the next…!!!   :P   :P  

Too funny for words, really.

*LOLOLOLSSSZZZZZ!!!!!!!*