31 May of every year is the feast day of “San Fernando El Rey” and it is the ”fiesta” of San Fernando City, Pampanga.
One of the two best tables of San Fernando belongs to a gentleman born to several of the city’s patrician families. The other best table belongs to the grande dame of the city’s uberrichest of the uberrich old families. The gentleman’s and the grande dame’s tables are renowned even in Manila.
The gentleman’s aunt is currently Manila’s preeminent jeweler. When it is the town “fiesta” and she is invited by her nephew, she deigns to descend on provincial San Fernando from her North Forbes Park residence. The gentleman can invite his aunt because his sprawling residence, as elegant and as urbane as any in Forbes Park, and his splendid table can parallel her own.
And so during one memorable ”fiesta” dinner, The gentleman seated his aunt in a secluded, elegant room with a round table along with several other prominent Manilans. Because it was an out of town affair, she deemed to be casual with only a pair of large, natural Arabian pearl earrings and a 50 carat emerald cut platinum ring. Nothing spectacular by her standards.
The food was served elegantly by the uniformed staff. First came an assortment of starters. Then soup. Then the main dishes. Everything was served on beautiful [ even spectacular ] antique English sterling silver dishes set on Belgian lace over large oval trays. The gentleman, after all, had impeccable taste in everything.
All was well until the gentleman’s gay majordomo, in a gesture meant to charm the urbane and prominent city dwellers, laboriously brought in a Filipino style, immense wooden tray covered with banana leaves serving an assortment of freshly-grilled, first rate, choice seafood — lobsters, king crabs, large prawns, big “lapu-lapu” [ grouper ] fish — accompanied by various sauces of balsamic vinegar, soy sauce, chili paste, shrimp paste, etc..
Preeminent jeweler’s eyes widened. She turned pale with horror [ and embarrassment? ]. And she screamed: “Aaayyy!!! Ano iyan???!!! Pagkain ng Mahirap!!! Ayoko niyan!!! Ilabas mo iyan!!!” [ "Aaayyy!!! What's that???!!! Food for The Poor!!! I don't like that!!! Bring that out!!!" ] She lifted her expensive, French antique ivory fan from her Hermes handbag and struck it repeatedly on the arm of the gay majordomo.
“Ay, sorry po!!! Ilalabas ko na po!!!” [ "Ay, I'm sorry Ma'am!!! I'm bringing it out already, Ma'am!!!" ] wailed the gay majordomo, “Ilalabas ko na pooooo!!!” [ "I'm bringing it out already, Ma'am!!!" ]
“Ilabas mo iyan!!! Ayokong makita iyan!!!” [ "Bring that out!!! I don't want to see that!!!" ] she insisted, all the while striking him with her exquisite fan.
She stood up and decisively pointed to the door with her expensive fan. “Ilabas mo iyan!!! Dalhin mo iyan sa asawa ko. Taga-Leyte iyan, lahing mangingisda!!! Pesante!!! Gusto niya ng ganyang pagkaing mahirap!!! Kumakain ng ganyan iyan!!!” [ "Bring that out!!! Bring it to my husband. He's from Leyte, he's of fisherman stock!!! A peasant!!! He likes food for the poor like that!!! He eats that sort of thing!!!" ]
The other guests exchanged knowing glances with coy smiles. After all, she was a lady who did not mince words, not even with her great friend, the former First Lady.
I didn’t think that anybody in this present day and age could still speak like that. Wow. *impressed*