I attended the 72nd birthday celebration of a dear friend’s mother yesterday evening and I was exceedingly amused by the extensive buffet because I saw something I had never seen before… !!!
The family was completely Kapampangan “as in Keni” so all sorts of cholesterol-laden delights were laid out on the long buffet, most of them from the family’s excellent kitchen. There was a preponderance of pork dishes, a Kapampangan peculiarity. There were “lechon,” crispy pata, lechong kawali, grilled pork chops, baked sweet spare ribs, “hamonado,” hamon “hoc shiu,” hamon china, Virginia ham, chicharon laman, chicharong bulaklak, “tidtad” [ a classier "dinuguan" ], “pulutuk” [ sizzling spicy minced heart and lungs ], “sisig” [ sizzling spicy minced pig head ], “tokwa at baboy” [ soybean cubes/tofu and sliced pig's ears ], etc.. All those… apart from all the beef, chicken, fish, seafood dishes, and… desserts!!! Were there vegetable dishes in that spread at all??? Yes, of course, but hardly anybody touched them!!! In an authentic, traditional Kapampangan meal, veggies are definitely last, very last, priority.
What stunned me and made me laugh out really loud, as it did the other guests, were what were laid out neatly in trays after the staggering variety of desserts…
and what truly took the cake… “Viagra”!!!
The medications were certainly useful because most of us over 25 years old in the party felt “I feel the earth… move… under my feet!” [ as in the Carole King song ] as we were halfway eating the triglycerides-laden food piled up on our plates!!!
Truly, the Kapampangan take their eating seriously, very seriously!!!